[personal profile] leia131
I don't have the strength for every dress at the Golden Globes, and The Fug Girls' site is loading so slowly that it makes me want to punch their servers, but let us not break with tradition and instead have a GG fashion post!

So, I was going to limit this post to people I actually saw on TV, (or else we'll be here all day) but even though I didn't see her we must start with this queen:

UNF. She was apparently Kate McKinnon's first love, and I know why.

Octavia Spencer:

Another queen. More women should wear pants on the red carpet, IMHO.

Isabelle Huppert, who I don't know, but who won best actress:

I agree with TFG, this would be 10 times better if the top was fully beaded all the way down. As is, it just looks unfinished. She, however, is amazing.

Hugh Laurie:

The lone man I felt compelled to show you, because I love the print on his coat.

I also missed this on TV, but look who it is!

(Aly Raisman, Simone Biles, and Madison Kocian!) Everything is good, except I want to hike Aly's dress up about two inches. Also, what do I have to do to get Simone to be my BFF?

Meryl Streep:

I don't want to like this, and yet I do. It's very her, and when you're getting the award for being awesome at being you for many many years, you should wear what you love. (BTW, do people still say 'slay'? Because I feel like I want to tell her to SLAY, but I don't want to seem out of touch).

Kristen Wiig:

For the sake of Ghostbusters, I have been trying to be kinder in my opinion of her, but this is not helping. Why is it see-through? It could have been so nice if it was lined! Her hair looks so good! But all I can focus on is deciding if I can see her bra, or if she's wearing a nude-colored dress under there.

Claire Foy (aka Queen Lizzie II from The Crown):

I loved her at the awards, but no. Look at those 80's sleeves (like the ones on Ariel's wedding dress, but deflated). Look at that random silk ribbon at her waist. Look at those weird branch applique things that kind of maybe look like dog poo. You are a literal queen, and you deserve so much better.

Priyanka Chopra:

On the one hand, she is beautiful, and the color and shimmer are great. On the other hand, I seriously kept waiting for a nipple to appear, because some parts of the bodice are too close in color to her skin tone; I honestly thought I was seeing it while she was presenting. It doesn't look that way in this picture, but trust me.

Felicity Jones:

I dislike this dress almost as much as I disliked Rogue One. In case you can't tell, the top doesn't actually have a ruffle, just a pattern on it that LOOKS like a 3D ruffle. Not that an actualy ruffle would have been better.

Kristen Bell:

I didn't love this when I saw it on TV, but it's grown on me since then. She looks so grown up, which is weird for me to reckon with (even though she is, in fact, a grown-up) because I'm so used to seeing her as Veronica Mars. I think I might like it more if the cut was tapered in, instead of being so square, but it's still a solid dress.

Zoe Saldana:

Zoe, darling, why do you love these red and pink monstrosities so much? They don't love you back. Also, did you throw that bow on yourself at the last minute?

Sofia Vergara:

The skirt is ok, I guess, but the top is confusing (what is illusion netting and what is her skin?) and her boobs look like they are so uncomfortable.

Carrie Underwood:

Comment I made to Andrew upon seeing this: "Is she wearing a vagina? I'm pretty sure that top is made out of a ruffled vagina." I stand by this statement.

Janelle Monae:

I wish I was cool enough to wear this dress. She certainly is. Best use of tulle all night.

Nicole Kidman:

What the actual fuck am I looking at? Is there nude lining under there or not? (And why do I have to KEEP ASKING THAT). What are those white things? Why are the sleeves detached? The upward sweep of the sparkles is almost pretty, but then it's ruined by starting with that grey mud on the bottom and ending over the white lines and focusing attention on the puffy sleeve tops. She wins for most bizarre dress.

Amy Adams:

It's simple, yes, but also simply beautiful. And the unusual cut up top gives it just enough interest.

Michelle Williams:

At least it's not see-through, though I apparently have to be glad about that now instead of expecting it... Anyway, the sleeves look like an afterthought and what is on her neck? Nothing good, I can tell you that.

Anna Kendrick:

Anna, what is this? It makes your boobs look both off-center, and like one of them required a holster to keep it up. Also, the color is like old dishwater. You're so awesome and fun, but this is not.

Viola Davis:

The only thing better than her look here (award included) was her intro speech about Meryl. It was really a great night for women.

For me, the two best looks of the night were her, and Brie Larson:

Because DAMN GIRL.
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