(no subject)

[leia131]

So, this post is about three days later than I intended to make it, because I had it almost finished and accidentally closed the window and LJ for some reason decided not to autosave it...

Anyway, once upon a time, Disney decided to jump on the ‘teenage versions of the fairy tale characters you know and love’ bandwagon about two years too late, and made a move called Descendants. The premise of this movie is that the Disney villains were defeated and banished to an island called the Isle of the Lost, which has a barrier around it to keep them in and magic out. The Disney heroes live on the mainland, in a single unified kingdom ruled by Belle and the Beast.

Now it’s 20 years later, and the teenage son of Belle and the Beast, Ben, has decided, for no apparent reason, as it’s the first scene in the movie and he’s given no motivation, to invite four of the teenaged children of these villains to go to his fancy prep school with him and his friends and have a shot at a normal life.

This movie is not big on explanations, like why Belle and Beast get to be the grand high king and queen, or why Ben chose these four villain kids to come, but it really doesn’t matter. I was super excited to watch it, not least of all because they somehow got Kristin Chenoweth to play Maleficent.

Thus, I present to you the notes I took while watching this crack-tacular movie, updated with small, very spoilery, plot summaries so you can follow along. Though I must say, if you like Disney at all, it’s totally worth your time to watch this.

The movie begins with an opening narration that informs us that there is no magic and no Wi-Fi on the Isle of the Lost. Woe.

Yeah, Beast, Ben wants to invite "our sworn enemies", but not YOUR sworn enemies, because Gaston is Sir Not Appearing in This Film.

How did they pick which villains got to be in this? Not Ben, but Disney. Why these four, and not Ursula or Captain Hook or Lady Tremaine or whoever? In any case, our main characters are: Mal, daughter of Maleficent; Evie, daughter of the Evil Queen; Jay, son of Jafar; and Carlos, son of Cruella de Vil. (Sidenote: I could go on for an entire other post about the, surprisingly excellent, racial diversity in this movie, as well as the questionable choice of casing a Native American actor as Jafar’s son, but I think I’ll stick to the snarky comments for now.)

I guess being dead isn't an impediment to having kids, as both Maleficent and the Evil Queen managed it.

So, Evil Queen is apparently her name, as that’s how everyone refers to her. You could at least have given her a first name for this movie, or called her Grimhilde.

It's nice(?) to see that The Blue Fairy got upgraded to Belle.

Oh God, there are musical numbers in this. I was not prepared for that.

Evil children choreography is the best choreography.

Apparently graffiti and petty theft make you evil, as that is the extent of them being ‘rotten to the core.’

Who are all these other people on the Isle of the Lost? Did they actually banish all the villains, not just the four we're focusing on here? How does the economy work on this island? Do villains have any skills they can use to live in isolation? How do they get food? Can you imagine Maleficent and Jafar farming? Maybe they’re all lesser criminals? I have so many questions, and, spoiler, this movie is not going to answer any of them.

P.S. There's also dubstep.

Mal's crowning evil moment: LITERALLY taking candy from a baby.

Kristin Chenoweth, the reason we're all here, is clearly having the hammiest, cheesiest, time of her life. <3 <3 <3

Carlos is instantly my favorite. I love him.

Evie keeps standing in a weird way, and I don't know why. Also, this is not a good look for Kathy Najimy, though all her lines are all HILARIOUS.

Jafar really let himself go. Also, is it ironic that his son is more or less Aladdin? Petty theft, patched clothes, steals a lamp.

Where are the other half of these parental pairs? Who knocked up Maleficent? Inquiring minds want to know. It’s explicitly stated later on that the villains were banished 20 years ago, and that Mal is only 16. Ergo, her father must be here somewhere. This issue is never even raised, nor do they discuss the morality of forcing innocent children to be born and raised in captivity, on an island with no Wi-Fi. *shrug*

The fact that there's no magic on the island should have no effect on Cruella, I'm just saying.

I will say this, the costuming in this movie is on point.

I guess there was also no chocolate on the Isle of the Lost, given the way they’re devouring it in the limo. More woe.

The Fairy Godmother is the headmistress of the prep school. Maleficent’s evil plan is to use her daughter’s invitation to said school to have Mal steal the Fairy Godmother’s magic wand, which Maleficent will then use to break the barrier around the island, allowing her and all her villain friends to go to the mainland and destroy all that is light and good. The teenagers are obviously conflicted about this plan because otherwise there would be no plot they’re not really all that evil, but they are also, quite fairly, afraid of disappointing their parents.

Which brings me to, where is Cinderella in all this? Don’t know. They talk about her a lot, but she never appears.

Fairy Godmother: "The doors of wisdom are never shut, but the library hours are 8-11 and as you may have heard, I have a thing about curfews." The actress playing the Fairy Godmother is flawless and I want her in more things.

GOOD LORD the guy playing Ben CANNOT act. At all. Whatsoever.

Wait, magic is retired? The Fairy Godmother is your headmistress, and you don't use magic? Laaaaaaaaaame.

The villain kids don't have any luggage... Are they all just going to wear these outfits for the whole semester? What about all the other stuff they might need, like shoes and hairbrushes?

Dopey has a son? That's... disturbing. And he's not a dwarf for no reason I can discern.

And the boys are already playing video games. Of course they are.

During his first day at prep school, Jay has stolen: bracelets, phones, purses, a watch, a laptop, half a slice of pizza, and a handful of french fries.

Now Carlos has learned how to Google. It's really weird that they're using technology to figure out how to steal a magic wand, but the whole movie is like that, oddly blending fairy tale magic with modern tech. In any case, they find out that the wand is being kept at The Cultural History Museum, and set out immediately to break in.

The cultural history museum has on display: a trident, a spinning wheel, Beast’s rose, a glass slipper, a top hat and Genie’s lamp. It's great.

Quick, to the Gallery of Villains!

Oh yay, Cheno is going to sing!!! In full Maleficent regalia, no less. I both love this and can't stop laughing. Cheno is clearly enjoying this like no other, but it's like, a vaudeville number. I don't even know. She's dancing with her staff as though it were a cane, and I half expect a top hat to appear on her horns any second. If you do nothing else with your week, watch this. You won’t regret it.

The special effects in this are actually not bad, for a made for TV movie.

CARLOS IS THE BEST. I want to hug him forever.

And of COURSE Jay is really good at... whatever the fuck this weird ass sport is. You get very agile, being a street rat.

They obviously cast Ben for his looks and... nothing else.

Ah, so, now Mal is inducing Jane, daughter of the Fairy Godmother, to do her dirty work for her. She’s convinced Jane, who looks very plain (I see what you did there) to ask her mother to use the wand to make her beautiful, as she did for Cinderella.

The actress playing Mal is so good she almost makes up for her male lead. Almost.

Chad Chaming... I actually think that's the name of an Ever After HIgh character. (ETA: It’s not.)

Wow, they're learning actual chemistry. Evie is cheating via her mini magic mirror, but whatever. I'm tickled by the thought of the evil queen finding atomic weights.

Awwwww, Carlos is terrified of dogs. He needs all the hugs. <3

Ben: "I'm gonna give you guys some space, get to know each other." Um, that got weird and awkward real quick. It’s a dog!

Where in the hell did Evie get that other outfit?

Noooooooo Evie, nooooo, don't let Chad know about the mirror, noooooooooooooo. Chad is clearly a douche. I know you want to marry a prince (there always has to be a boy-crazy girl, ugh) but not him.

Yep, I was right, doooooooooooooooooooouche.

Evie, Doug, son of Dopey, is clearly the plain but adorable nerd you are going to end up with. Don't fight it.

OMG this movie is going to answer one of my questions! Apparently Evie is SEWING her own clothes. I'm willing to believe that this place has a sewing machine, and Evie just accepted money from someone to buy more fabric. An explanation! I may faint.

Hi Mulan Jr, (aka Lonnie) that is a heinous outfit.

Apparently ripping your skirt makes you cool. This movie is AMAZING and I love everyone except Ben. And Chad.

Let's assume that Evie also made these different outfits for the rest of her villain friends too.

EVIE IS SMART. EVIE LEARNED THINGS. SHE LEARNED ACTUAL CHEMISTRY. SHE HAS MORE CHARACTER THAN WANTING A PRINCE. I am shocked. Pleased, but shocked.

No, Lonnie, their mothers did NOT make them chocolate chip cookies because their mothers are EVIL and also they didn't have any chocolate on the Isle of Sadness.

Plot Update: Mal discovered that the wand will be taken out at Ben’s upcoming coronation, and that he and his family and his girlfriend will all be up near it. She has therefore decided to put a love potion in a cookie, so she can replace Audrey, daughter of Aurora, as his girlfriend.

Apparently everyone in this school (except the villains, obviously) wears exclusively pastels.

Audrey is INSUFFERABLE, just FYI. She deserves to be with Chad.

Why is Carlos even on this team? He's my delicate puppy-loving flower and he's going to get crushed.

Ben, post love potion, is singing to Mal from the field. You know that scene in 10 Thing I Hate About You, where Heath Ledger sings? It's like that, but 1000 times more awkward. For everyone.

Ah, well, Ben can sing at least.

I'm glad that everyone, including Jay and Carlos, knows this dance.

Mal, you can't fall for someone that you know only loves you because you drugged him with a cookie.

I'm surprised, and pleased, by the feminism in this movie. Words I did not think I would be typing tonight. It's like Legally Blonde all up in here, as Evie is learning that her value is more than just her looks, (as she was taught by her mother) and also includes her talents and her intelligence. Also, her lunchbox or pencil case or whatever it is is shaped like the box the Evil Queen gets Snow White's heart in. I LOVE IT.

Time for Ben and Mal’s first date! Upon seeing her, he says, "For the first time I understand the difference between pretty and beautiful." WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN, BEN? Crap line, worse delivery. I hope Maleficent smites him.

It's too soon for a retrospective, movie. You're flashing back to things that happened five minutes ago. In music video format.

Mal, if your flashback doesn't require a set change, it's happening too soon. She literally flashed back to the beginning of the scene she's still in.

Oh, please PLEASE let there be a mermaid in this lake. (Alas, there was not.)

Mal and Ben make me want to barf. Go back to Evie and Carlos.

No, Ben, she doesn't love you, because 1. She's 16, 2. She's evil, and 3. She didn't eat the love cookie. And also because you can't act.

OH MY GOD they are SKYPING the villains in for the coronation. I thought they didn't have Wi-Fi on the Isle of the Lost? Anyway, MALEFICENT IS VIDEO CALLING. ON A LAPTOP. WITH THE OTHER THREE GATHERED AROUND HER. It's pretty much as awkward as it is in real life when more than one person, especially more than one parental person, gathers around a laptop to Skype... but with the added awkward of Maleficent's horns.

Did Carlos get the dog a jacket? He did. I bet he made it himself.

Ok, villain kids, it’s totally understandable that you’re worried that failure to secure the wand will make your parents literally kill you. However, how are they going to get to you? They can't get off the island. They can't use magic. You can do both. Advantage: teenagers.

Aww, Jay is sad that he can't be on a team anymore, Carlos doesn't want to leave his dog, and Evie, rather than missing a boy, is sad to leave behind the test, which represents the intelligence and worth she learned she had. This scene is AMAZING.

Oh God, Mal's singing again. While whisking sadly. (She is now whisking up a batch of anti-love potion to give to Ben, because she’s fallen in actual love with him and feels bad about the roofie. I don’t know how you fall in love with a person for doing things you know they’re only doing because they’re under a spell, but whatever, she’s only 16.)

Now Ben is doing an acapella version of Be Our Guest, to welcome all the parents for the coronation. It is... Well, there are really no words.

Why are all of Lonnie's outfits so ugly? Seriously. (Jane's is terrible there too, actually.)

Oooooo Jay stuck his tongue in the chocolate fountain. I feel like the actor may have adlibbed that.

Ben is CAPTAIN OBVIOUS of the OBVIOUS CLAN. I yelled, 'NO SHIT' at him at least three times.

Queen Leah is here for the coronation, and she is understandably peeved at Mal for that time Maleficent cursed her infant daughter. Aurora herself, however, is nowhere to be seen.

Chad continues to be a DOOOOOOOUCHE. Ooh, and the magic mirror knows it.

Woah, since when did Jane and Doug turn on them? I mean, it has to happen so the plot can move forward, but still. It feels very forced. In any case, now the villain kids feel all alienated from the friends they thought they’d made, and so they might actually steal the wand.

Aaaaand the villains are watching the coronation on TV, while eating popcorn. I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS STUPID MOVIE. They actually threw popcorn at the screen. Like I want to do every time Ben is on it.

Mal gave Ben a single muffin. In a box. Does that not seem a little weird to you, Ben?

Hey, movie? It's still not ok that Mal drugged Ben, taking away his free will, even though it turns out that he did actually really like her. The fact that the spell washed off the in convenient enchanted lake of convenience three scenes ago and he’s still dating her doesn’t change the fact that drugging someone is a serious consent issue. At least Mal had the decency to feel bad about it?

Ben: "I haven't been faking anything." Except, you know, that you can act.

Apparently Belle isn't allowed to wear anything that's not yellow. It's not like she also wore blue and pink and green in the movie or anything.

The number of times my voice has gone to a level where only dogs can hear it during this movie is a testament to how awesome it is. They have the Belle/Beast stained glass!

Anyone know why they're coronating a 16 year old? When his parents are still there, and alive?

Moment of truth: An arm shoots out, grabs the wand, and causes a bolt of magic to crack the barrier around the Isle of Skyping Villains. Cut to commercial!

OH SHIT IT WAS JANE. JANE HOLY FUCK JANE. I did not see that coming. I am legit surprised. I'm impressed, Disney. They had Jane grab the wand, literally seizing her chance to be beautiful. She and Mal tussle over the wand, Mal wins, Jane runs off, and Mal makes her big speech (come on, you knew there was going to be a speech) about why she’s not actually going to steal the wand.

In the course of her speech, Mal also recaps everything the villain kids have learned at prep school, including, "Evie, you do not have to play dumb to get a guy." THANK YOU FOR THAT, MOVIE. <3

“I CHOOSE GOOD, YOU GUYS.” It's amazing how she can make that sound like a good line.

Yeah, it’s all sunshine and rainbows and choosing good. Too bad here comes Chenolificent to fuck up everyone's shit.

CHENO I LOOOOOOVE YOOOOOOOU. This scene is amazing. She's amazing.

And now she's a dragon. Don't turn into a dragon, it never helps.

And then… Mal stares her mother into submission. Yes. And the moral is that good is stronger than evil, and maybe Maleficent can someday learn to love. I wouldn't hold my breath for that.

LOL Ben is disappointed he didn't get to do any rescuing. SUCK IT, LOSER.

Yeah, Jane, that's great and all, you're beautiful inside and out, TOO BAD YOU ALMOST KILLED EVERYONE.

Hey, Evie, are you gonna call Dopey out on his shit? For abandoning you at the lunch table? I guess not.

Big dance number at the end! Because hey not. Carlos and Jane are dancing. But where is the dog?

They've made a point of showing this chick in a wheelchair three times now, but who is she?

Wait, what? Why are Mal’s eyes glowing green? What does she mean this is not the end of the story? What the hell was that? Is there already a sequel? LITERALLY WHAT. (ETA: Wikipedia now says there is going to be an animated series. This pleases me.)

So, that's that. Someone please tell me they also watched this. Or at least watch Chenolificent's dance so we can talk about it.

Comments

[domluver.livejournal.com]

Oh thank god someone else watched this. I caught it last night.

I was really disappointed with the singing & dancing, all the numbers I saw (I missed the first twenty minutes) were useless. And didn't really help the plot at all. Not to mention cringe worthy!

I liked Mal, she was a good actress, her singing voice though. Ek. Evie's voice however HOLY SHIT, I know she was trying to put the 'put on voice' but could've lowered it an octave.

I was wondering why they chose those four villains for the movies too. I would've had a hell of a lot better ones. Though I don't mind Jafar, because shit they chose a hot one as his son.

I was REALLY disappointed in the background of all of the 'heros' I mean Belle & Adam being the leaders? Seriously? That's random as shit. Their son is awful, and obviously needs some lessons. Not to mention Cinderella' son, he's totally going to turn evil. If he doesn't I'm going to be so disappointed.

I guess the whole Mal green eyes thing shows she's still a Dragon, or something like that in her.

It's kinda also, ripping off OUAT a bit too.

[amyofaquitaine.livejournal.com]

*bookmarking this post because I DVR'd this & won't be able to watch it til Friday*

I bought the related book the day it was released but still haven't read it lol because I was *SO EXCITED* for this whole ~thing. I remember when they started filming about a year ago & Entertainment Weekly posted a pic of Cheno in costume and that pretty much sealed the deal for me. Plus, y'know, I'm a slut for fairytales.

[leia131.livejournal.com]

I thought the dancing was actually pretty good, but you're totally right that the songs were useless. They didn't serve any purpose beyond getting stuck in my head...

I was kind of thinking Jay was hot too, and then I had to look it up and see how old he is, lol. (21, in case you were wondering).

The heroes had no backgrounds, motivations, or depth. They were just there so the villain kids had something to bounce off of. I'm hoping maybe the series will go deeper.

Yeah, it is somewhat similar to OuaT, but since they're both Disney it's more beating the idea to death than ripping it off. :)

[leia131.livejournal.com]

Yes, please come back and tell me your thoughts!!! I know all about waiting to watch things on the DVR, lol.

I have been excited for this for weeks, ever since I found out Cheno was in it. I also read a bunch of reviews of the dolls, and almost bought one at TRU on Saturday, but they weren't quite as tempting as Circus Toralei (which is who I did buy, heh.)

[amyofaquitaine.livejournal.com]

WAIT WHUT THERE ARE DOLLS FOR THIS SHOW?!?!!? And the Circus dolls are in stores & not just on Amazon??? Damn, I need some money lol.

[leia131.livejournal.com]

Maaaaybe... http://www.toysrus.com/products/disney-descendants-toys.jsp

I saw dolls at this TRU that I've never seen in real life before (the D&D Deuce and Gil 2 pack, Frankie and Jackson with the picnic basket, Luna Mothews) and they had ALL the circus dolls. It took all my willpower not to get one of each, I want Frankie SO BAD.

Alas, I too need money, so, based on past availability experience, I went with Toralei and hoped to find Frankie again later. They're all so beautiful though.

[amyofaquitaine.livejournal.com]

OMG those are cuter than the Ever After High dolls IMO.

Ahhhhhhhhhh I want that Frankie/Jackson 2 pack & have looked for it forever! (Though it's been while since I've been to TRU.) I want so many of the circus dolls. OF COURSE THE DOLLS I'VE BEEN MOST EXCITED ABOUT IN A LONG TIME COME OUT RIGHT AS I BUY A NEW CAR GRRRR. I have Luna Mothews, the local Walmart got in a BUNCH of her, the mouse girl and Elle Eedee about a month ago...along with a ton of the sports dolls from last summer & the creepatoria dolls idek. I'll be in the neighborhood of TRU in 3 weeks, looks like I'll have to save up & go there instead of Barnes & Noble!

[leia131.livejournal.com]

Ugh, every Wal Mart I go to still has Freaky Fusion and the exchange dolls and... nothing else. And our Target is worse. It's like those two stores don't ever get restocked in this area. The TRU was in a big city almost an hour away, so they had better selection, lol.

I want to get the Frightmares for my nieces for Christmas (four nieces, four Frightmares, it's perfect) and I can't find them anywhere. I want to see them in person, dammit!

I may also recently have bought the SDCC exclusive set that was suddenly, randomly available...

[amyofaquitaine.livejournal.com]

*off to google the Frightmares cause I'm unfamiliar with them*

Oh that's awesome you go the SDCC exclusive! It was a great one this year :)

[bizarrevictoria.livejournal.com]

This was SO entertaining to read.

[amyofaquitaine.livejournal.com]

Okay, I didn't read your comments until after I'd watched the movie. It looks like my notes & your notes have a lot of the same thoughts.

HBIC THE BLUE FAIRY IS BELLE?!?!?!

But why is Ben going to be king when his parents are still alive??? Are they going to ritually sacrifice Beast & Belle before the cornonation?

Did he just randomly draw names out of a hat to decide which 4 ~bad kids~ are going to attend the pretty pretty princess school?

OMG THE KIDS ARE DOING A MUSICAL NUMBER!!! This is what you'd get if High School Musical & Once Upon a Time had a baby!!!

I really like this "Rotten to the Core" song omggggg.

Cute, diverse casting. But I'm side-eyeing Disney for employing the "all brown people look the same" trope to cast Booboo Stewart as Jafar's son. Isn't Booboo Native American/Korean? He's cute (AND LEGAL), I'll tell you that much. Oh, the girls are adorable, too. I love Mal's hair. And Evie's whole look. And Carlos is just too precious for words.

OKAY SO WHO ARE THEIR *OTHER* PARENTS? Who hooked up with Maleficent & Cruella, etc to beget these children???

Does Disney have enough villains to fill the Isle of the Lost? Are animal villains (like from Robin Hood) human in this? Where did all these other people come from? Are they like evil peasants who populate the background of Disney movies?

OMG CHENO. CHEW THAT SCENERY.

Okay so besides no Wi-Fi or magic, they don't have candy on the Isle…? BUT WAIT MAL STOLE A SUCKER FROM A BABY. So why are the kids devouring all the candy in the limo? Is it just chocolate that they don't have on the island?

Oh look it's the lady from the Red Robin commercials as the Fairy Godmother!!! To quote her Red Robin character, BOOYAH!

Okay, this Audrey person is awful.

Raise your hand if you didn't see Jay getting zapped by a force field surrounding the magic wand? No one over the age of 4? That's what I thought.

Ummmm if there was no Wi-Fi on the Isle, why is Carlos tech savvy? Did they at least have dial-up?

OMG THIS MUSICAL NUMBER WITH CHENO & MAL. I can die happy now. That was EPIC.

So the school sport is…medieval lacrosse?

LOL @ "the boring answer is the right answer".

I'm never going to be able to keep Ben & Chad separate. They're both bland af.

Carlos is afraid of dogs, that's cute & hilarious. Also, I sort of want Dude the Dog, he's adorable.

So long hair=great hair? Ummm okay.

MAL IS GOING TO SLIP BEN A ROOFIE?!?!? O_o

Oh lord Ben shut up. This is cringe-inducing. Poor Mal. Though I suppose she deserves it for the roofie cookie.

EVIE, YOU ARE A SMART GIRL. YOU DON'T NEED CHAD.

CARLOS MADE PJ'S FOR DUDE. OMGGGGGGGG.

WAIT WHUT HOW CAN THEY SKYPE WITH THEIR PARENTS BACK ON THE ISLE IF THE ISLE DOESN'T HAVE WI-FI????

LOL @ Evil Queen: "you can't tell me she hasn't had work done", re: Snow White

The bad kids become real boys and girls. They don't want to give up sports or Dude or learning to go back to the Isle (and I can't say I blame them…seriously, King Beast, THE ISLE IS THE SLUMS YOU BASTARD).

See, Jay, that's why I don't do chocolate fountains.

BUT WHERE IS AURORA? I don't care about her mom.

DIE, CHAD.

JANE???? Because she wants to be beautiful. Like she's not already cute? I guess she's supposed to be "Hollywood ugly? Honestly??? Evie got all the character growth in the "looks don't matter" category, I guess.

YAY THE KIDS CHOOSE GOOD. Precious cinnamon rolls.

CHENO!!! She should be Queen, she's amazeballs.

A staring contest saves the day…?

DANCE NUMBER!!! \o/ I love cheesy dance numbers. CAN WE HAVE A SEQUEL, DISNEY??? WITH EVEN MORE MUSICAL NUMBERS????

Mal has glowing green eyes….??????

Because I am a dork, I have the prequel novel...

[amyofaquitaine.livejournal.com]

...Isle of the Lost, so I thumbed thru it after watching the movie. It takes place a year before the events of the movie. Or at least that's what the prologue tells me. From what I gather, this takes place on the Isle at their school Dragon Hall. Mal is scheming to get some object and recruits the other kids to help her (Jay, because he's a thief…Carlos, because he's an inventor & a genius…not sure about Evie). Found a few things of interest. For instance, Mal's eyes glow green in the book and she tells the other kids that it's because she's "half dragon, like my mom". Also, Mal is kind of terrible to other kids: Evie has been home schooled all her life & when she begins attending Dragon Hall, Mal plays all sorts of nasty tricks on her. She also calls her "Princess Blueberry". (She calls Carlos "Spot".) She bullies Evie & Carlos (she's described as being "lifelong frenemies" with Jay) and generally has a terrible attitude. The movie version of her is pretty tame.

The teacher's at Dragon Hall are Dr Facilier, Lady Tremaine and Mother Gothel. Some of their classmates are Gaston's twin sons who are both hilariously named Gaston…Lady Tremaine's grandson Anthony Tremaine…Jay's cousin Jade (no word on who her parents are so evil must run in Jafar's siblings, too)…Harry & Jace, who are the sons of Cruella's minions Horace & Jasper…a kid named Diego who has a white & black Mohawk and is in a rock band (no word on who is parents are)…Ginny Gothel (daughter of Mother Gothel)…Sammy Smee…Harriet Hook…Reza (the son of the Royal Astronomer of Agrabah who schemed with Jafar)…and Rick Ratcliffe. Carlos has a pet parrot who is one of Iago's babies. Jay has 2 pet eels who are the kids of Flotsam & Jetsam.

And back in the kingdom, it's mentioned that Aurora & Phillip's neighbors are Rapunzel & Eugene and that Ariel & Eric live nearby. Also, Ben has a council of some sort that consists of Lumiere (Lumiere keeps telling Ben he'd make a great king so I don't know if they're planning a coup or what); Pongo & Perdita; Flora, Fauna & Merryweather; and Gus-Gus, Jacques & Mary. And apparently Ben keeps seeing Mal in his dreams and doesn't know who she is, only that she's from the Isle, and she's why he decides to invite the kids to go to school there (doesn't say how the other 3 get chosen, at least from what I saw).

[leia131.livejournal.com]

I absolutely LOVE this, because it's SO CLOSE to what I wrote! Especially, "DIE CHAD" which is the only thing that could have made this movie better.

"OMG THIS MUSICAL NUMBER WITH CHENO & MAL. I can die happy now. That was EPIC." My thoughts exactly. When I found out Cheno was in it, I was like, I MUST SEE THIS. <3

It was so much fun, and I will totally consider watching the supposed animated series if they make it.

Re: Because I am a dork, I have the prequel novel...

[leia131.livejournal.com]

That... raises even more questions (though it at least explains the eyes) like who on earth did Smee impregnate? There's not a lot of women (like NONE) in Neverland, you know?

Royal astronomer of Agrabah what now? Is this a person we have ever heard of before? And Iago turned to the light after the first movie, unless Disney wants to pretend the Aladdin sequels and TV show didn't exist. (I personally like said sequels and show, so I hope not).

Oh, yeah, I think I do remember like, one line somewhere in the movie about Ben seeing Mal in his dreams. I had totally blocked that out, or it got erased by his terrible acting.

Thank you for all the extra info!

Re: Because I am a dork, I have the prequel novel...

[amyofaquitaine.livejournal.com]

LOL Smee impregnating someone is nothing something I want to think about ;)

I wasn't sure about the Royal Astonomer of Agrabah, either. It just said that he plotted with Jafar to overthrow the Sultan. I'm assuming it was ~behind-the-scenes~ of Aladdin?? (Also, Carlos classifies his best friends...Raza is his #1 best friend, Jace is his #2 BFF & Harry is his #3 BFF.) Imma gonna assume they've erased the Aladdin sequels & TV show because Iago lives in Jafar's shop. And Jay is surprised that Carlos has one of Iago's babies as his pet, which...yeah. How did Carlos get one of Iago's kids but Jay ended up with the children of Ursula's minions?

The Ben/Mal parts bored me to tears.

Also, randomly, Yao (I think it was Yao; definitely one of the good guys from Mulan) is sent by King Beast to teach a class about "being good" at Devil's Hall. And there's a map of the Isle inside the book cover and the kid's all live on Hell Hill. Nice (NOT WTF DISNEY).

[amyofaquitaine.livejournal.com]

How did Cinderella & Prince Charming end up with such a horrible kid as Chad? He was literally worse than all the "bad kids" from the Isle. (Y'know how the coach told Jay that the team was like a body and Jay said he wanted to be the "fist"? Chad was on the team but I can't decide if he was the DICK or the ASSHOLE.)

Cheno is the best Malificent ever. I know they're doing an animated series but I want another live-action movie, just to see her.

Re: Because I am a dork, I have the prequel novel...

[leia131.livejournal.com]

Hell Hill has got to be a reference to Cruella's Mansion, Hell Hall.

Beyond that, I got nothing. I think maybe not a lot of thought went into the backstories here, or they just assumed we'd all be willing to accept this as an alternate reality. Which means they've clearly never been on the internet.

[leia131.livejournal.com]

Late reply is late, but thank you! I actually feel very proud whenever I make you laugh, because you are always so witty and amusing. <3