(no subject)

[leia131]

Why is it always me who has to shove my feelings aside to make sure no one else gets hurt? Why do I always have to try and stifle my crushes or whatever they are, so everyone else can be happy? When is it my turn to be the one everyone else sacrifices some feelings for?

What if one day I stop being able to turn these feelings off? What will happen to the unobtainable object of my affection if I can't stop liking them the way I've been able to just stop liking all the others?

What if this is the reason I'm miserable? What if I haven't really killed all my feelings for Phil? Why am I still beating that long dead and decayed horse? (Because I still have dreams about him, that's why. Don't think about him all day, then I have these fucking dreams...) What if he's the reason I'm miserable? (Actually, that's probably not much of a what if.)

Why am I thinking about this now? Today? At 1:49am?


More importantly, what's the answer?




I just want to be loved and desired. For who I am. For all my little quirks. Just by one person. Is that so terribly much to ask?

I shouldn't be allowed to think past Midnight. Somebody stop me.

Comments

[whatsername99.livejournal.com]

Awww babe I love you.

>4MuchLove>4

[haveaday510.livejournal.com]

Oh honey. Brooding over things is something that happens to many of us...especially at 1:49 a.m. I've certainly been there.

And no, you do not have to shove your feelings aside. That is not your job. Consideration of other people's feelings is a wonderful thing but not to the point of disregarding yourself because that will make you bitter and broody and unhappy and that will do no one any good.

No one knows what the answer is. Take a deep breath, relax, and it will all be okay.

And sometime ask me about the time I had to become okay with a crush I wasn't allowed to have, and how we began dating about 2 months ago. Relax and go with things, it will all turn out right in the end. :)

[beckybrown.livejournal.com]

"I just want to be loved and desired. For who I am. For all my little quirks. Just by one person. Is that so terribly much to ask?"

me.my life.everyday.


i know how you feel.entirely completely 100%

i wish i could hug you right now!

[puckingright23.livejournal.com]

Ohhh Meg im so sorry you feel crapppy right now. Yes you most certainly deserve to be loved and to find happiness. And i have faith that when the right guy comes along you will. However i dont think Phil is the guy for you. I think the reason you have dreams of him is because he was your first love and thats what you know and feel comfortable with. In wanting to find those feelings again you think of Phil. I loe you and i hope you can find happiness soon. Mom always told me love will find you when you learn to love yourself. and also love happens when your not looking for it. Hope that helps a little anyway. Feel better hun.

Smiles