Megan's Guide to Bad Fics

Do you ever find yourself reading a fic, and begin to suspect that it is a Bad Fic? Well, how can you be sure? When should you forget about wanting to know how it ends and just stop wasting your time? Never fear. Here's my handy guide on how to tell if the fic you're reading is Bad.

Bad Fics fall into three basic categories:

1. Good story, bad writing. This one isn't totally awful, because one can usually overlook the bad writing (especially if it's just some grammar or spelling) and concentrate on the compelling story and characterizations. A lack of imagery or an advanced vocabulary doesn't necessarily ruin a good plot. However, if the grammar/spelling/wording causes you to go "WTF?" and overpowers the story, I suggest you give up on it. If the plot is stupid and/or the characters are OOC*, it's not a good story, and doesn't belong in this category.

2. Bad story, good writing. This is where the characters do things they would probably not do, or the plot is just too far out there, or the fic is not something you'd usually read but you though you'd give it a shot, because it's by an author you like, or it has beautiful imagery. It's entirely possible for good authors with nice metaphors and perfect spelling/grammar to butcher certain characters or give in to sheltering plot bunnies that were better left out to starve. If you find yourself realizing that the words are lovely but you just don't buy it, it's time to let it go.

3. Bad story and bad writing. These are the worst of the lot. Fortunately, they are also the easiest to discover. These stories usually have incorrect spellings, sometimes even of character names or place names, and bad grammar, frequently in the form of random tense shifts. Along with this, the characters not only are OOC, but they say and do things that are beyond unlikely; they're downright ludicrous. This is all assuming that the plot makes sense, which it may not. Even in a PWP**, you need to start with a plausible situation. People don't merely walk up to one another and start shagging. Usually. If you have no idea what you're reading, either because you're thinking "That paragraph makes no sense, and I read it three times," or "Who the hell are these people, because they're not the characters I know!" stop reading and move on to better things.


Also: Never continue reading a fic with anything similar to the following dialogue in it:
“Do you want to sit on my face?”
“I thought you would never ask.”  ***

I don't care if they are fictional, PEOPLE DO NOT SAY THINGS LIKE THAT.



That's all I have for tonight. I hope you've enjoyed this guide, and that it helps your time reading fics be well spent!













*Out of Character
**Plot? What Plot?
***Yes, I actually read this in a fic tonight. Someone really wrote that dialogue.

(no subject)

So. Independence Day. 

I like this movie because:

-Will Smith.
-Will Smith's lines. All of them. (But especially "Now that's what I call a close encounter.")
-The scene with Will Smith and the alien in the desert.
-The scene where Will Smith flies the alien spacecraft backwards.
-Jeff Goldblum.
-Jeff Goldblum saying the same line he says in Jurassic Park ("Must go faster, must go faster!").
-A nerd saves the planet.
-Strippers.
-Steriotypical jews.
-Steriotypical gays.
-Crazy-alien-meeting-rooftop-raves. That get blown up.
-Recogniziable things (the White House, the Statue of Liberty) getting blown to smithereens.
-Action sequences lifted directly from Star Wars.
-Dialogue that, while not verbatim from Star Wars, is really damn close.
-The dog lives.
-Area 51 is real.
- Jayne Adam Baldwin, who plays a big beefy soldier man. With a gun. And he shoots people. And aliens. A lot.
-The last line. "Didn't I promise you fireworks?"