Literary Lads We Love: Eugenides

[leia131]

The Thief was written by Megan Whalen Turner, and published around 1997. I got my copy at a Scholastic Book Fair (remember those?)  and though I can’t recall why I picked it, it quickly became one of my favorite books.  I read The Thief, and re-read it, and re-read it again, often when I was feeling down about the world and wanted to read about someone totally awesome. Because, as you will shortly see, the main character is that and more.

Some years later, after the internet came into my life, I was shocked and extremely pleased to discover that MWT had written (at that time) two sequels to The Thief! I got these out of the library, and was not disappointed. Eugenides isn’t in the sequels quite as much as he’s in The Thief (which is told from his POV) but he was still plenty amazing. Amazing enough that I picked him to write about for this festival, and so here we are.

Now, I did struggle with this post a bit, because much of what makes the Queen’s Thief series thrilling and compelling are the plot twists and turns. I want to celebrate Eugenides, but I don’t want to spoil the books too much, since I think everyone should read them.

I decided to solve this dilemma by presenting you with ten quotes by and about Eugenides, with as few spoilers as possible, that I hope will enlighten you all as to why I love him. Please enjoy, and if you do, please go read these books so we can all revel in his awesomeness.


In roughly chronological order:

1. I didn’t stay because I was trapped; I stayed because I was too stupid to go. Maybe all the owners of the bones in the back of the maze had been drowned by their own stubbornness as well. (The Thief)

This quote comes from a section of The Thief where Eugenides is in a giant maze, trying to locate the ancient artifact that the magus has hired him to steal. Eugenides has a limited amount of time in which to do so, before the maze floods with water, and yet, even though his ankles are starting to get wet, he doesn’t leave. He wants to retrieve the artifact, not just because it’s what the magus sent him to do, not just for political reasons, and not even just for the fame it will bring him. Eugenides is a thief of great skill, and he refuses to be bested by this maze… Even if it kills him. One of Eugenides’ defining traits is his stubbornness, especially when it comes to defending his professional pride, and I love him for that. In addition, I love Eugenides’ stubbornness because he knows that it’s a ridiculous way to be.  He acknowledges his faults, yet is still subject to them, which I think is something extremely relatable. And because of that, you just can’t help but root for him.


2. One of the big running jokes/character enriching details of The Thief is how Eugenides really does not like horses, and only rides them when he absolutely has to. This leads to the following exchange between Eugenides and his ‘employer,’ so to speak, the magus.

“Why didn’t you bring a cart?” I (Eugenides) grumbled to the magus as we rode out of town.
“A what?”
“A cart. You know – a large wooden box on wheels, pulled by horses.”
“Why would I have done that?” the magus asked, amused.
“So I could be sleeping in the back of it right now.”
“I didn’t plan this trip with your comfort in mind,” he said sourly.
“Damn right.” (The Thief)

Then, later, when the main characters have been captured and Eugenides has been gravely injured, there is this exchange:

“How did you get here?” he whispered, as if the guards were lurking outside to hear the prisoners’ conversation.
“They had a cart.” (The Thief)

These conversations are extremely entertaining.  Eugenides has got that Han Solo-esque attitude of always finding something sarcastic to say, and wit that never flags… even in the face of dire circumstances and mortal wounds. Eugenides is almost never without a comeback, even when he’s in pain, and he almost never lets a chance to make a comment pass him by.


3. This conversation happens during an escape attempt:
“That way,” I hissed, “when they (the guards) hear us chatting like happy sparrows in our nest, they won’t immediately be able to find us.”
“But where are we going?”
“Would you shut up?” (The Thief)

Another reason Eugenides is amazing is that he just doesn’t put up with anyone’s crap. Too many times characters hem and haw and hesitate to say what they really want to say, and often what really needs to be said, because they’re worried about harming feelings or relationships… despite the fact that they’re in some kind of dire circumstances, and there won’t be any feelings to hurt if they all get killed. Eugenides, bless him, does not have these hang ups, and doesn’t hesitate to tell his friends, in no uncertain terms, to shut up. Sometimes people just really need to hear that.


4. “I cannot tell you how sick I have been of… being surrounded by people who think Archimedes was the man at the circus last year who could balance four olives on his nose.”
The magus looked around at the books piled in my study. “I remember that Archimedes. I think it was five olives,” he said with a straight face.
“I don’t care if it was twelve.” (The Thief)

I picked this quote to show not only another example of Eugenides amazing comebacks, but also his intelligence in more than just in street smarts and thievery.  Eugenides loves books and learning (and actually, it turns out, sometimes lives in a library) which isn’t something you would typically expect from someone who has ‘thief’ as a job title. He’s like Aladdin crossed with Hermione; very good at stealing things and could live on the streets with little trouble, but also just as happy in a study with a fireplace and a nice cup of tea, reading about philosophers and gaining knowledge for the sake of it. He’s not exactly how you picture a thief being, and that just makes him cooler.


5. She never worried about his complaints. She worried only when he was quiet. Either he was plotting something so outrageous it would bring her entire court to her thrown howling for his blood, or he’d been fighting with his father, or on very rare occasions it meant he’d been seriously hurt… And then, when he was feeling better, he’d complain constantly. (Queen of Attolia)

One of Eugenides most endearing features (to me anyway) is how he constantly complains, about anything and everything…  except those things that are actually serious. He doesn’t like a big fuss being made over him, especially when he’s gotten into some mess partially though his own fault; he uses silence as a defense against that sort of thing. It’s another one of Eugenides flaws, which of course make a character more interesting, but this is one I don’t think he really knows is a flaw. Eugenides believes this strategy is effective, but as this quote shows, those who know him well know to pay more attention when he’s quiet than complaining. A character should have flaws, and should even acknowledge some of them, but he can’t know about them all or it just gets silly.


6. “You said, ‘You could still do something.’ Your exact words.”
“I meant talk your queen into surrendering, not destroy our navy in its own harbor!” (Queen of Attolia)

Although I’ve had to leave identity of the second speaker here a secret, this quote is still excellent. Earlier in the novel, when Eugenides was in the midst of a depression of sorts, Speaker Two gave him a pep talk… Which Eugenides took to heart, though clearly not in the way Speaker Two intended. Even  when Eugenides seemed totally down and out, even when he appeared to be utterly defeated, he was still planning, and eventually managed to pull things off. Big things. Because Eugenides is awesome, and you should never, ever, count him out.


7. “For me, alone among mortals, the gods send their messenger to tell me to stop whining.” (Queen of Attolia)

 This is one of my all time favorite Eugenides quotes, not only because it’s extremely funny, but also because it shows that Eugenides and the gods have a very unique relationship. Simply put, Eugenides is awesome enough that the gods are interested in him, even though he might rather than they not be, and they’ve interacted with him enough to know how to talk to him in an effective way. Imagine if the gods came down to you, in all their glory, and their message was, ‘stop whining’. This is what Eugenides’ life has come to, and he takes it all in stride. Nothing fazes him.


8. After singlehandedly killing three men who were sent to kill him, Eugenides says,
“I thought that being the king meant I didn’t have to kill people myself. I see now that was another misconception.” (King of Attolia)

I’m not giving too much context for this quote, but I picked it because it shows that no matter how powerful Eugenides is, no matter how good he is at killing people, and no matter how many opportunities he has to kill people, he doesn’t like to do it. Eugenides takes no delight in ending a human life, and only resorts to it when there are no other options. But when it comes to that, he is certainly more than capable. It’s so interesting to have a man who can kill with his bare hands and with very little effort, but who tries not to ever do so because he hates it so much. He’s not incapable of killing, merely unwilling to unless left with no other choice.


9. He didn’t marry you to become king. He became king because he wanted to marry you.” (King of Attolia)

Again, I don’t want to go on too much about this one, because it spoils a lot of the plot twists and turns that I love so much. But what you need to know about this quote is that it shows how devoted Eugenides is. Just as in all things he does, when Eugenides falls in love he does so with his whole being, even to the point of having to be king, something he definitely does not want to do, ever, because he and responsibility are like oil and water, in order to be forever united with the woman he loves. Eugenides will do almost anything if it means he can get what he wants.


10. As he looked in turn at each attendant as he spoke, it was undeniable that he did, in fact, know. If they had looked chagrined before, they looked at him now with something very like horror. (King of Attolia)

This quote is from a part of the book where Eugenides’ attendants have been playing tricks on him, and basically being jerks for ages, and now Eugenides reveals that he has known all along exactly what they’re been up to, and who was responsible for each thing. Essentially, Eugenides knows everything, always, and even when other characters think they’re getting something over on him, they’re totally totally not. People are constantly underestimating Eugenides, and it almost always ends poorly for them. Why? Because Eugenides is awesome.

You may notice that there are no quotes from A Conspiracy of Kings on this list. This is because 1. Eugenides isn’t in that book very much, so just by sheer lack of volume there weren’t too many to choose from, and 2. I don’t  own that one, so I didn’t have it to hand to pull quotes from.


Hope you enjoyed!

Comments

[lisal825.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for participating! The carnival is now live here:

http://lisal825.livejournal.com/66270.html

[leia131.livejournal.com]

Thank you for hosting this! I look forward to reading the other posts. :)

[rosaxx50.livejournal.com]

Gen! One of my favourites, too.

“For me, alone among mortals, the gods send their messenger to tell me to stop whining.”

o m f g I cracked up so much after that line.

And the scene in KoA where he's just come out of Hestia's temple, after the priestess tore his request in two halves... T_T

[leia131.livejournal.com]

Hurray! I was afraid I had picked a character that no one else was going to recognize. :)

That line is definitely my favorite... I also like the one where the gods tell him to go to bed. ;) I had so much trouble narrowing it down to just ten quotes, because there were so many good ones!

I have to admit that I don't remember that particular part of K of A, but then again I haven't read that one as many times.

Glad you enjoyed it!