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[leia131]

So, I missed my annual Talk Like A Pirate Day post because I was busy that day driving to VT, helping set up for my aunt's surprise 60th birthday party, attending said party, and then helping my dad with a fire department project all evening, but we did tell pirate jokes at the party, so there's that.

And now, because I watched them and I want to, here is a Primetime Emmy's Fashion Post.


Please note that this is by no means all the looks from Sunday night, because we all have lives (well, you guys do). But if you want to see more, Us Weekly covers just about everyone here.


The All Right:


Jessica Lange

It's a nice color, she looks appropriately regal, I like the shiny detail. Not the biggest fan of that kind of fabric, but whatevs.



Taylor Schilling:

This is nice. Not great (I don't love the hem ruffle) and her shoes shouldn't also be yellow, but it's not offensive.



Sofia Vergara

I mean, when has Sofia Vergara ever not looked good? She knows how to dress her figure, and she always looks flawless. That being said, there's nothing outstanding here, just a pretty dress on a beautiful woman. Isn't that enough? What more do we want from her?



Julie Bowen

Sure Julie, I can get behind those weird straps. It adds something interesting to your otherwise simple black dress (which fits nicely and is very flattering, btw). And I like the ring.



Felicity Huffman

I love the dress, but her hair is ruining it for me. Is it one of those hairbows that failed? Are those pieces supposed to be wilting out onto her neck? The cut and color of this are nice, if you can look past the hair.



Regina King

This is pretty, but it was so stiff that it moved like a bell around her when she walked.



Julia Louis Dreyfus:

Lots of black this year, which is odd because it was apparently1000 degrees on the red carpet. Anyway, this is another very nice, very well fitting dress. Nothing to write home about, which is all right because Veep and JLD won ALL THE AWARDS, and that's what you'd put in the letter home.



Jamie Lee Curtis

It's simple and black again, but the train and the sleeves make it stand out a bit more. She looks fabulous and comfy.



Elisabeth Moss

I love the color, the black on top, and the overall adorableness of this, but the bust looks kind of like they sewed the bra on the outside.



Lena Headey

I'm not mad at it per se, but the top could fit better. And the waist could be lower. I do kind of like how it looks like dragon skin up top though, and the color is unique.



The Good:


January Jones

As I was scrolling down (A LOT of the looks change as you scroll down, trust me) I liked this when I thought it was a dress, and I liked it even more when I saw it was pants. Still not sure how one pees in a jumpsuit, but the color is phenomenal and she looks like a mermaid whose fin turned into those pants when she got onto land. And I mean that as a compliment. I love this, and I admire women who wear pants to these events, so they can like, walk up stairs and stuff.



Lady Gaga

Let's be real, I love Lady Gaga, and I love every insane thing she's ever worn. And I also love this incarnation of her. Everything is simple (the hair, the makeup, she's barely got any jewelry) but not boring (she looks FABULOUS, and the dress has that hip detail to keep it interesting) and it's lovely. <3



Emma Roberts:

Absolutely nothing about this could be improved. In fact, it's better than a lot of things Julia Roberts has worn. She went for Old Hollywood glamour, and achieved it.



Zoe Kazan

I'm not going to lie to you, I have zero idea who this is, but I LOVE this dress. It's like the classiest optical illusion ever. No one wears head to toe stripes, especially red ones, to a red carpet event where everyone is going to photograph you and talk about it, but she did and I really think it works.



Laverne Cox

Yes. Yes to the color, the nails, the hair, and the side cut outs. We're going to talk about cut outs in a moment, and the way in which I do not care for their deployment, but this is not it. This is beautiful.

Bonus:

YUS.



Jaimie Alexander:

I love this one too. It's sparkly, it's almost like a rainbow, it's got sleeves (which was unusual last night, for good reason, she must have been DYING) it fits like a metallic glove, and even the hair style is growing on me. (Please give Lady Sif her own movie, btw, kthxbai)



Laura Prepon

I did not actually get to see this one on TV, which is a shame because it's gorgeous. Somewhat matador-esque, but in the perfect way. I might have preferred it without that seam at about knee level, but overall it's beautiful.



Claire Danes

I really enjoy this color, and I think the shoulder chains (which you will be seeing again on someone else) give it just the right amount of edge.



Sarah Paulson

I love how this looks like it's wet, but it's really just sequins. And I also love the black band across her shoulders. I don't love her hair, but I am willing to let that go.



Viola Davis

Pictured with her history making Emmy. Everything about this picture is great, even though I don't watch her show. I especially love the design of the leaves falling down the skirt.



Christine Baranski

Love her, love this color, love the detailing. Please come back to Big Bang Theory and snark at Leonard some more, Christine!



Allison Janney

Hot DAMN. I don't know if this is actually sheer on the sides, or just pretending to be, but either way it is fabulous and fits her so so well. I don't watch Mom, but I bet she's hilarious on it.



Sarah Hyland

She's on one of those shows I don't watch (Modern Family, maybe?) so I almost left her out, but this is so pretty I had to throw it in. I don't know why she's posed like that, however. Stand up straight, young lady, so your dress won't wrinkle in the middle!



Niecy Nash

I... almost know who she is. In any case, this may be my favorite dress of the night. I love red, I love flowers, and I love the cut and the fabric. A+.



Lisa Kudrow

I like everything about this, including the over-long pants. You be comfortable on that carpet, Lisa. You know Phoebe wouldn't conform to Hollywood's ideas about sparkly dresses at the Emmys.




The Conflicted (aka, looks I feel conflicted about)


Kerry Washington

I love the color, and I like how sparkly it is, and I don't even mind the big shoulders (shoulder decorations were very in last night) but the bottom... If the pattern at the top went all the way down, it would be fine. But what is up with the bottom? And why is it suddenly gold? Just look at her from the knees up, and we'll all pretend it's all right.



Christina Hendricks

On the one hand, I love her, and I like this dress in theory. However, I feel like the particular pattern of the striping from her boobs down to her hips is not doing her lovely curves any favors, as her boobs look a bit unsupported and her hips look three times wider than they are. But still, she looks elegant and I need her in a new TV show ASAP.



Taraji P. Henson

First of all, I am on board with the shoulder chains, (though Claire's could totally take hers in a fight) and I love the neckline. But then there's the random triangle cutout, like they messed up while sewing it. However, even that I could forgive. The skirt is the real problem here, because, as you may notice, it is completely see-through. Like, all the way up. Why you gotta do that, skirt? Just be opaque and ruffly, you were so pretty when I thought you were covering her bits properly.



Gina Rodriguez

The top is so lovely, the color is so delicate on her, and then you keep scrolling and see the bottom and wonder what the top of this dress ever did to deserve to be attached to such a feathery mess. If that skirt was plain, just think of how pretty it would be.



Kiernan Shipka

Does anyone else think she looks like Emma Watson here, or just me? Anyway, I want to like this, because I kind of really love the top, but why is it not just a dress? Why is she wearing it with pants? And why with THOSE pants? Even white pants would have been better. (Also, she was on Mad Men? Yes?)



Uzo Aduba

Do I like this? I legit can't decide. I think I do though. Overall, I think I like the splatter, though maybe I wish it was a different color. The pink is really nice though.



Maggie Gyllenhaal

This would be great if the top fit her properly. The colors are nice and the cut is good, but it's at least a size too small for her torso. It also looks like the heavy skirt is in danger of pulling the whole thing off her at any moment.



Natasha Lyonne

Look at her face. Look how saucy and beautiful she is. Think how nice this off the shoulder velvety look would be without that hideous fringe on the bottom. Even if the fringe ended an inch or two below the hem, that would have been all right. I was so on board until I scrolled down, yet again. And I also think she needs different shoes.



Morena Baccarin

God, she is so pretty, why didn't I see this on TV? Her hair, her makeup, her earrings, and the lace sleeves I am all right with. But the bust part looks off somehow, like it widens her chest weirdly, and I can't tell if the midsection and skirt are totally see-through, or lined in a flesh-tone. I'm afraid it may all be sheer... You're awesome on Gotham, Morena, way better than Barbara, treat yourself to some opaque fabric.



Teyonah Parris

Another person I don't recognize, but I could not let this pass by without comment. First of all, her hair is great, and she looks so happy in all the pictures. And I do like polka dots. But do I like ones that are this big? I think I do, but I don't like the top. And no one else less exuberant should ever try wearing something like this.




The Bad:


Nazanin Boniadi

Dear Nazanin, who I only know from being Nora on How I Met Your Mother, your character deserved better on HIMYM, and you deserve better than this dress. I'm sure you can afford two sleeves next time, and don't let anyone ever talk you into illusion netting that is in no way an illusion and is just really obvious netting ever again. You can keep the cape if you want, but only if you don't allow them to attach it to your boob. Thank you.



Maisie Williams

No. Not only is the color almost exactly the same as her skin tone, but it looks like she literally took the top off a mattress and made a dress out of it. And shoes like that are not to be worn in public, unless you are a Playboy Bunny. Possibly not even then.



Amy Poehler

This is very 90's, in a bad way. It also looks like she's trying to convince someone that she's in her early 20's. You're fabulous, Amy, you don't need to live in the past.

Amy Schumer

Ok, honestly, this dress is not that bad overall, but her boobs look sad, wrinkly, and unsupported, and that's where all the attention is in a dress like this. I also hated her hair (though admittedly it looks all right in this particular picture). Like, HATED it.

Here, this highlights both her need for boob support and a new hair stylist. That line under her bust is her boobs begging for some structure.



Jane Krakowski

Unlike every other dress where I hate the bottom, with this one the bottom is perfectly fine and it's the top that looks like a hot mess. Why are there so many panels? Is it actually two pieces? Are the sides a different color than the skirt, or is that just an optical illusion? In any case, I do not like this. I don't even like the color all that much on her.



Anna Chlumsky

I don't even know what to say about this, besides that it looks terrible. The color is so drab, and it's like the designer thought it was too plain being just fabric, so she stuck on whatever she had extras of laying around. In this case, that was fake daisies and old rhinestones.




Just Plain No


Kathryn Hahn

What, one ugly curtain dress wasn't enough, you had to sew two together? I do like the shoes, however.



Julianne Hough

There is not enough opaque fabric on this to even call it a dress. It's cobbled together out of straps and trimming and looks like a Project Runway challenge gone horribly awry.



Heidi Klum

And speaking of PR, this is making me question every judging decision Heidi's ever made on that show. What in God's name IS this? There's at least three different dresses here, and none of them are good. Also, she may have murdered Big Bird to make this, has anyone seen him lately?



Phew! That took me almost two days to complete, I hope you all love it!