Perfection Comes Slowly
May. 28th, 2005 02:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
leia131I wrote this at about 3:00 this morning, and I'm really rather happy with it, so it'd really mean a lot to me if you guys'd read it. Yes, it's fanfiction, and yes it's Harry Potter, and yes it's slash, but I'm more pleased with the way it's written than the actual content so if you could just read it and tell me what you think... Please? Pretty please?
It's the most spontaneous thing I've ever written. I think I like myself when I'm spontaneous.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairings: Various among Lily, James, Remus, Sirius, and an anonymous male
Rating: Umm...PG or PG-13. There's mention of shagging, but no actual doing it. No actual kissing either. One swear.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, except the anonymous male who I invented for his like, five lines of dialogue. So please don't sue me, and know that I'm not making any money off this, becasue if I was I'd have a paid account.
Enjoy!
They should have been the perfect couple. Smart, studious, moral, but somehow, it wasn’t working. It had gone along fine until they’d decided to sleep together. Then it had fallen spectacularly apart.
They should have been the perfect couple. Troublemakers, mischievous, horny, yet somehow something was missing. It wasn’t that the sex was bad, it wasn’t, but it was not fulfilling something that both of them needed.
The answer hit Remus one day in the shower as solidly and shockingly as though someone had beaned him over the head with a bludger. He liked boys. Not girls, boys. The site of other boys in the shower was something he had avoided not because he was afraid of what they would think of him, as he told himself, but because he was afraid of what he would think of them.
And what he thought of them was that he would like very much to shag them.
The question was, what to do about it? What would Lily say if he told her that trying to sleep with her had turned him gay? It wasn’t exactly the best thing for a girl’s self-esteem to hear that. Wait. She hadn’t really turned him gay, now had she? No. He’d always been gay; he’d just never realized it before. Ok. So trying to sleep with her had made him realize he was gay. That was better. But not much.
“I think…I think…well, I think we need some time apart.”
“You’re breaking up with me, just like that?”
“Yes. This isn’t working.”
“Thank you.”
“What?”
“This really isn’t working, but I’d never have the courage to leave you. My family yes, but I need you. So thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Umm…”
“Yes?”
“You know you’ll always have me right? You know that, don’t you Padfoot?”
“Yes.”
“You just can’t have me in your bed anymore.”
“Got it.”
“We can still pull pranks and torture Snivellius and wrestle and-“
“I’ve got it, Prongs. No shagging, no snogging. Everything else is bully.”
“Right.”
“Right.”
James Potter did not like being single. He was lonely and he always seemed to feel cold. It had gotten to the point that he was actually considering trying to get Sirius back, because anything was better than how he felt inside now, even meaningless shagging. Because he really didn’t feel that way about Sirius, but he certainly wanted him. But it was wrong and he knew it, and he felt enough about Sirius to know that he couldn’t do that to him, especially as Sirius didn’t seem at all unhappy with his new boyfriend.
“I’m sorry, but… it’s over.”
“Bullshit.”
“I mean it.”
“Over one little fight you’re going to dump me?”
“Yes. Now get out.”
“Sirius, can’t we discuss this?”
“No. There’s nothing to discuss. You made yourself quite clear with your opinions about werewolves, and I disagree on such a fundamental level that I can’t see us ever working past this. So goodbye.”
“You can’t do this to me.”
“I think I just did.”
When she really thought about it, James wasn’t all that bad. Sure he was arrogant and self absorbed and trouble with a capitol T, but he was also funny and handsome and quite sweet when he thought to be. And as much as she hated to admit it, Lily was a sucker for muscular Quidditch players.
Sirius was having a problem. He’d wanked the night before to an image of two boys. That wasn’t the problem; he was gay and therefore that did not disturb him. The problem was that the two men in his brain had been Remus and himself. One should not imagine oneself with one of one’s best friends, especially if said friend has only recently discovered that he fancies blokes.
“Remus, you know I’m not mad at you, right?”
“Yes.”
“And you know I don’t blame you…”
“Yes.”
“And I made it perfectly clear that I would be all right and not hold it against you…”
“Yes, Lily, you did.”
“Then why won’t you talk to me like a normal human being?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then there’s no reason?”
“Not that I can easily identify.”
“Good. Come play chess with me like we used to before you turned gay.”
Having failed at being a poof, James thought perhaps he’d give being straight another go. This sexuality business was confusing and exhausting, but sort of exhilarating at the same time. Lily had refused him many times before, but he still couldn’t keep his eyes off her hair the way it glinted in the firelight, and he still thought it was cute the way she chewed her nails when she was concentrating. It couldn’t possibly hurt to give it one last go.
Remus woke in Sirius’ bed. This had happened before; he tended to seek comfort when he was only half awake and scared of the demons in his dreams, and often found himself in a bed not his own. But he’d never noticed before how truly beautiful Sirius was when he slept, nor how the protective arm he flung over Remus’ shoulders comforted him so completely. Perhaps he’d never allowed himself to take note of it, but he’d definitely felt this whole before, and he definitely needed to feel it again.
“Yes? Yes? Are you sure you mean yes and not ‘Bugger off’?”
“Yes.”
“Is there some sort of code I’m missing here where yes means no?”
“No. No means no and yes means yes, and yes I’ll go to The Three Broomsticks with you on Saturday.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes! Now stop asking me that or I’ll say no!”
“Ok!”
“For someone so confident you sure do doubt yourself a lot.”
“Well, you’ve never said yes before…It’s a bit of a shock.”
“Would you rather I said no?”
“NO! I like a girl who can shock me.”
“Well you’ve certainly picked the right one.”
“Why me?”
“Because I like you.”
“But why me?”
“I don’t really know. Because you’re you. Because you’re strong and handsome and recently gay…”
“Uhhhh…..”
“Because you can endure so much. Because you’re brave. Because you chew on your quills. Because you always move your King’s pawn first when you play chess. Because of the way you smell. Because you let me copy your notes. Because your favorite dessert is pumpkin pie. Because you always put your right sock on first in the morning. Because I only notice all these things about you.”
“Pads…I…I…er…”
“Would you like to go have a cup of tea with me on Saturday?”
“I’d love to.”
They were the perfect couple. One who cared for her studies, one who did not. One who liked to torment Slytherins and one who did not. Two who liked sappy love poetry and honey on toast and hated peas. Two who had changed just a little for each other.
They were the perfect couple. One shy and one bold. One careful and one reckless. Two who liked Muggle music and motorcycles and hated coffee. Two who had let themselves love and be loved.
Four who had found that perfection comes slowly and unsurely, but always gets there eventually.
I know, I know. That last line. I know. I blame George Lucas.
This is still undergoing editing, so input and concrit are welcome!
Current Mood:
pleased
It's the most spontaneous thing I've ever written. I think I like myself when I'm spontaneous.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairings: Various among Lily, James, Remus, Sirius, and an anonymous male
Rating: Umm...PG or PG-13. There's mention of shagging, but no actual doing it. No actual kissing either. One swear.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, except the anonymous male who I invented for his like, five lines of dialogue. So please don't sue me, and know that I'm not making any money off this, becasue if I was I'd have a paid account.
Enjoy!
They should have been the perfect couple. Smart, studious, moral, but somehow, it wasn’t working. It had gone along fine until they’d decided to sleep together. Then it had fallen spectacularly apart.
They should have been the perfect couple. Troublemakers, mischievous, horny, yet somehow something was missing. It wasn’t that the sex was bad, it wasn’t, but it was not fulfilling something that both of them needed.
The answer hit Remus one day in the shower as solidly and shockingly as though someone had beaned him over the head with a bludger. He liked boys. Not girls, boys. The site of other boys in the shower was something he had avoided not because he was afraid of what they would think of him, as he told himself, but because he was afraid of what he would think of them.
And what he thought of them was that he would like very much to shag them.
The question was, what to do about it? What would Lily say if he told her that trying to sleep with her had turned him gay? It wasn’t exactly the best thing for a girl’s self-esteem to hear that. Wait. She hadn’t really turned him gay, now had she? No. He’d always been gay; he’d just never realized it before. Ok. So trying to sleep with her had made him realize he was gay. That was better. But not much.
“I think…I think…well, I think we need some time apart.”
“You’re breaking up with me, just like that?”
“Yes. This isn’t working.”
“Thank you.”
“What?”
“This really isn’t working, but I’d never have the courage to leave you. My family yes, but I need you. So thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Umm…”
“Yes?”
“You know you’ll always have me right? You know that, don’t you Padfoot?”
“Yes.”
“You just can’t have me in your bed anymore.”
“Got it.”
“We can still pull pranks and torture Snivellius and wrestle and-“
“I’ve got it, Prongs. No shagging, no snogging. Everything else is bully.”
“Right.”
“Right.”
James Potter did not like being single. He was lonely and he always seemed to feel cold. It had gotten to the point that he was actually considering trying to get Sirius back, because anything was better than how he felt inside now, even meaningless shagging. Because he really didn’t feel that way about Sirius, but he certainly wanted him. But it was wrong and he knew it, and he felt enough about Sirius to know that he couldn’t do that to him, especially as Sirius didn’t seem at all unhappy with his new boyfriend.
“I’m sorry, but… it’s over.”
“Bullshit.”
“I mean it.”
“Over one little fight you’re going to dump me?”
“Yes. Now get out.”
“Sirius, can’t we discuss this?”
“No. There’s nothing to discuss. You made yourself quite clear with your opinions about werewolves, and I disagree on such a fundamental level that I can’t see us ever working past this. So goodbye.”
“You can’t do this to me.”
“I think I just did.”
When she really thought about it, James wasn’t all that bad. Sure he was arrogant and self absorbed and trouble with a capitol T, but he was also funny and handsome and quite sweet when he thought to be. And as much as she hated to admit it, Lily was a sucker for muscular Quidditch players.
Sirius was having a problem. He’d wanked the night before to an image of two boys. That wasn’t the problem; he was gay and therefore that did not disturb him. The problem was that the two men in his brain had been Remus and himself. One should not imagine oneself with one of one’s best friends, especially if said friend has only recently discovered that he fancies blokes.
“Remus, you know I’m not mad at you, right?”
“Yes.”
“And you know I don’t blame you…”
“Yes.”
“And I made it perfectly clear that I would be all right and not hold it against you…”
“Yes, Lily, you did.”
“Then why won’t you talk to me like a normal human being?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then there’s no reason?”
“Not that I can easily identify.”
“Good. Come play chess with me like we used to before you turned gay.”
Having failed at being a poof, James thought perhaps he’d give being straight another go. This sexuality business was confusing and exhausting, but sort of exhilarating at the same time. Lily had refused him many times before, but he still couldn’t keep his eyes off her hair the way it glinted in the firelight, and he still thought it was cute the way she chewed her nails when she was concentrating. It couldn’t possibly hurt to give it one last go.
Remus woke in Sirius’ bed. This had happened before; he tended to seek comfort when he was only half awake and scared of the demons in his dreams, and often found himself in a bed not his own. But he’d never noticed before how truly beautiful Sirius was when he slept, nor how the protective arm he flung over Remus’ shoulders comforted him so completely. Perhaps he’d never allowed himself to take note of it, but he’d definitely felt this whole before, and he definitely needed to feel it again.
“Yes? Yes? Are you sure you mean yes and not ‘Bugger off’?”
“Yes.”
“Is there some sort of code I’m missing here where yes means no?”
“No. No means no and yes means yes, and yes I’ll go to The Three Broomsticks with you on Saturday.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes! Now stop asking me that or I’ll say no!”
“Ok!”
“For someone so confident you sure do doubt yourself a lot.”
“Well, you’ve never said yes before…It’s a bit of a shock.”
“Would you rather I said no?”
“NO! I like a girl who can shock me.”
“Well you’ve certainly picked the right one.”
“Why me?”
“Because I like you.”
“But why me?”
“I don’t really know. Because you’re you. Because you’re strong and handsome and recently gay…”
“Uhhhh…..”
“Because you can endure so much. Because you’re brave. Because you chew on your quills. Because you always move your King’s pawn first when you play chess. Because of the way you smell. Because you let me copy your notes. Because your favorite dessert is pumpkin pie. Because you always put your right sock on first in the morning. Because I only notice all these things about you.”
“Pads…I…I…er…”
“Would you like to go have a cup of tea with me on Saturday?”
“I’d love to.”
They were the perfect couple. One who cared for her studies, one who did not. One who liked to torment Slytherins and one who did not. Two who liked sappy love poetry and honey on toast and hated peas. Two who had changed just a little for each other.
They were the perfect couple. One shy and one bold. One careful and one reckless. Two who liked Muggle music and motorcycles and hated coffee. Two who had let themselves love and be loved.
Four who had found that perfection comes slowly and unsurely, but always gets there eventually.
I know, I know. That last line. I know. I blame George Lucas.
This is still undergoing editing, so input and concrit are welcome!
Current Mood:
pleased
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Date: 2005-05-29 10:18 am (UTC)Glad you liked it!
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