She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts

[leia131]

Golden Globes fashion, part two! I hope you weren't all sick of talking about what the celebrities wore last night, because I spotted a few outfits during the actual show last night that we need to discuss.


First of all, the fact that Amber Heard is 27, a scant ONE year older than me, and yet is dating 50 year old Johnny Depp (THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME, JOHNNY) is neither here nor there. But can we talk about the slit in her dress?


I don't want to talk about her hair (which is defying gravity more than Elphaba), or her 90's shoes, or the unfortunate wrinkles in that fabric. All I can look at is how the skirt is SLIT UP TO HER VAGINA. Literally, in the literal sense of literally, it is literally slit that high.

Perhaps this explains a little about her and Johnny.



Look, I love Zoe Saldana, and have since Center Stage, but what the hell is this?

It's like the very worst kind of quilt, made out of three or four other different dresses. And then they glued big shiny flowers onto it, because why not? Look at those sad little sleeves, just trying to drop off her shoulders so they can disappear and pretend this never happened. Also, the sheer part on the bottom is like the cherry of unnecessary on top of everything else.


Speaking of people I love in questionable fashion choices, here's what Emma Watson wore:

I love the color, and from the front it looks good, but then you get to looking at that little slit by her legs and wondering what's going on there. When she was walking out to present I almost thought it was like, a giant billowy pair of pants... And then you see the back. The top is so nice, from the front and the back, and the bottom is... black stretch pants under a fabric curtain? I don't even know. Why did they not just make that into a nice skirt? There's more than enough fabric available.


While we're on the subject of Emmas...

I don't know if I hate the top or the bottom of this more. At least the bottom is just butt-ugly, while the top is butt-ugly AND looks like she's covered in millions of tiny, shiny, sperm.


So many sperm. Like her shirt was in the middle of a circle jerk.


Edie Falco was only on camera briefly, so we all almost missed this:

Bad fabric, bad front seam, bad EPIC bow.


To finish up, let's take a look at one of the best dresses of the night:

You go, Lupita! Not since Superman have I loved a red cape so much.




Answer to last Monday's song: Everybody Talks, by Neon Trees. No one guessed this.

Comments

[kaitydid33087.livejournal.com]

You Belong to Me-Taylor Swift

Sooooooooooooo many misses. I don't know what anyone is thinking...

[leia131.livejournal.com]

I can only imagine that these things seem like a good idea at the time. Or that they want everyone to talk about them.

[invsagoth.livejournal.com]

I almost love Zoe's dress. o_O I actually love the little sleeve thing (I'd even be ok with the colour if it was the only thing that was a different colour), and the black part of the dress looks fine... then I continued scrolling down and was like "wut just happened here someone just attached gramma's shawls to the bottom of her dress"

I don't understand what Emma Watson's outfit is supposed to be. o_O'

Also lol at the sperm shirt. That is a very unfortunate outfit. She's beautiful why is she wearing a shapeless burlap sack of sperms? lol

Also, that giant bow dress. I don't even know what to say about that. o_O

Lupita is gorgeous!

[leia131.livejournal.com]

I kind of liked the top of Zoe's dress, and the sleeves, but unfortunately they just weren't strong enough to save it. Which is why they're sad.

"She's beautiful why is she wearing a shapeless burlap sack of sperms?" This is the number one question everyone is asking about that outfit, trufax.