Lies and falsehoods, Padfoot!

So, I'm not exactly a gamer, and I'm surely not a video game expert, but please indulge my comments on this list of "Ten Video Games that Leave the Violence Behind" (NB: I am 100% all right with violent video games, I was just curious to see what was on the list.)

Number three is Kingdom Hearts, one of the very few (actually, maybe the ONLY) video game I have ever played from start to finish. It is, quite literally, all about violence. Except for the very first level where you go around collecting coconuts and fish, 95% of what you do in Kingdom Hearts is beat the bad guys with your keyblade until they die. The other five percent is gain experience so you can beat them to death more effectively and/or upgrade your weapons for the same reason. Well, there is a story to follow and some things to collect along the way, but it is almost all hitting progressively bigger things until they die and give you all their munny, XP and MP. Who the hell played this and thought it was non-violent? Did they only play the Winnie-the-Pooh part? Just because it's got Disney characters doesn't make it all sunshine and rainbows; my strategy for beating Maleficent was to let Goofy and Donald beat the crap out of her until she was almost dead, while I hid on a high ledge and healed them, then swoop in for the finishing blow. How is this leaving the violence behind?

The next game on their list is Mario Kart Wii. On the one hand, at least the goal here isn't to beat people to death. On the other hand, between blowing people up, being run over, running people off the track, things trying to hit and bite you, and the inevitable swearing and throwing of things that happens in real life when you play Mario Kart (you never really learn to swear until you learn to play Mario Kart) I hesitate to call this one non-violent either. Plus, it allows you to ruin the dreams of your friends and family members, not just pixels.

Further down the list, they have Pirate 101. I've got exactly zero experience with this, but I have a hard time believing that a game about pirates doesn't have any violence in it. Then they have Portal, which I haven't played either, but isn't it about a killer AI? I feel like there's going to be some violence in there at some point.

At least I can vouch that Just Dance is non-violent, unless you're me and are constantly kicking furniture and whacking your hand into the fan pull while you're dancing.



Answer to last Wednesday's song: Science Fiction Double Feature, from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. becofoz got this one right!

First, some meaningless fun:






Second, some meaningless (but amusing) quotes from my long hard day of watching television:

From Boy Meets World

*Corey, Shawn, Eric, Jack, Alan, and Feeney are all gathered in the backyard of the Matthews' residence. They are all having problems with their respective women, and are trying to figure said problems out*
Eric: I have been silent long enough. I've been working on a theory.
The Assembled Men and The Audience *wait anxiously*
Eric: Men... are idiots.
All The Girls in The Audience: *clap and cheer*
The Assembled Men: *look at Eric skeptically*
Eric: No wait, there's more. Big idiots.
All The Girls in The Audience: *clap, cheer, hoot, and hollar*
The Assembled Men: *sigh, nod agreement*
Me (at home): I LOVE YOU ERIC! AND YOU ARE SO RIGHT!

Then, even though I haven't watched either show in months at least, I watched the season finales of CSI and Without A Trace. (Which were quite good, BTW.)

Cop: Who brings a gun to a knife fight?
Grisom: *with a delightful head cock* The winner?

(This won't make sense unless you saw the episode, but I want to remember it)
Grisom: What a waste/waist.

And after four tries I finally beat Ursula in Kingdom Hearts ALL BY MY SELF.

Go me!