Lies and falsehoods, Padfoot!

Well, I'm sad that we're not going to get any snow here (WHERE IS MY WINTER, MASSACHUSETTS?) so here are some funny pictures from my Pinterest. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: There is some interesting language under here. And I fucking love Thranduil.

( I'm in a very LotR mood lately... )

All right, so it's been a while since I saw The Hobbit: The Desolation of Sherlock Cumberbatch, but we were having a semi-snow day at work when I wrote this and I am BORED. So I'm going to try to catch up on all the posts I've been meaning to write but haven't quite gotten to yet (this one, a Jaws book review, and my next MH review).

Anyway, let's start with the set-up, because my mood going into this movie surely affected my perception of it.

Andrew loved the first Hobbit movie, I thought it was all right, and I like the LotR movies, so I was willing to see this one. I was less thrilled to go to the midnight showing, because it was a Thursday and I had to work the next day, but all of Andrew's classmates were going to that show, and one of them offered us a ride, so I was game. Then when we got to the theater, it turned out that all his classmates had sprung for the extra-expensive 3D IMAX version of the movie. Since only Andrew and I were going to the regular-D regular-MAX movie, because paying an extra $15 just didn't seem worth it, I was annoyed. If we weren't going to be in the theater with the rest of them, we could have just gone by ourselves at a normal hour. (I guess I have a tradition of watching LotR movies at odd hours though...) ANYWAY, that was off putting.

Then, I tried to go to the bathroom before the movie started, because I knew it was going to be long. The first bathroom I tried was locked, even though it wasn't a one person one. So I had to go all the way to the other end of the theater, which was all right I guess, but that's where I met Strange Lady. I was just innocently washing my hands next to her, and this happened:

SL: I realize this is a strange conversation to strike up in a bathroom, but did you hear about that woman who got stuck to a toilet seat?
Me: No?
SL: Yeah it was in like, Kentucky.
Me: *picturing someone wedged in a toilet somehow* Ok?
SL: Yeah, I guess someone put superglue on the seat, and the fire department had to come get her off, and it ripped all her skin off in the process.
Me: *I literally do not know how to react to this conversation*  Oh no!
SL: Yeah, so just be careful if you sit down in public restrooms. *leaves*
Me: Why did you tell me this? And after I had already peed? Was she like, going on a public service campaign to make people aware?

I just stood there for a few seconds, wondering what the hell was going on, and then I went to watch The Hobbit. So, that should give you a little idea about the frame of mind I was in.

Now, on to the review! I wrote most of this the day after I saw it when it was fresh in my mind, so this is a bit scattered and not very cohesive, as all my movie reviews tend to be.

( Read more... )


Answer to last Thursday's song: Sweet Home Alabama, by Lynyrd Skynyrd. becofoz got this one right!

 So I'm watching this movie right now, I think it's called Flight of the Phoenix... It really doesn't matter. I started watching it for three reasons.

1. Dennis Quaid. He's so rugged and tough. And dirty. And sweaty. Rawr.
2. Hugh Laurie. With his full on British accent. YAY! Hey hey hey! He also speaks Mongolian!
3. Eowyn. Yeah, I'm sure the actress has a name, but I don't care. She's Eowyn. And she's awesome.


Now, I didn't see the beginning, so I have no idea how a bunch of people from different countries (given the accents and looks, we have American, Mexican, English, and Irish) ended up on a plane together, and I don't know why that plane crashed in the Mongolian desert.  But we ended up with like, 20 guys and Eowyn trying to build a plane.

My first thought was gee, it's a good thing the plane was full of big burly men, capable of working all day in the hot sun, and not, you know, old people and little kids. (We'll forgive there being a plane designer, a pilot, and a welder on board, cause well, no plane crashes without SOME useful people on it.)

My second thought was about the prospective genetic diversity if they had to stay in the desert and start a village. I mean, they do have a woman, so it is possible. If she produced a kid from each man, you'd have a bunch of half siblings... I don't know how messed up their kids would be, but they really wouldn't have any choice... I think though, since there are so many different men, and from such different racial backgrounds, it would be ok. Especially since boys don't inherit their mothers' mitochondria... Oh, and they'd also be preserving white, black, Mexican, and English diversity. (The Mongolian guys shot the Irish guy, so no Irish DNA. Boo.)

Another geeky genetics thought: If Eowyn only slept with some of the guys, and then they waited... 13 years or so for her daughter(s) to hit puberty, then the other guys could knock up the daughters, and well, they'd all still be related to Eowyn, but more distantly so. That could work, men stay fertile for a long time, these guys aren't that old... And Eowyn wouldn't have to sleep with every single guy, just half of them. (Yes, I know, the thought of a 13 year old girl bearing children is a bit disturbing, but this is a crisis situation here. And it isn't odd in many cultures.)

Final geeky genetics thought: The plane designer doesn't get to sleep with Eowyn. Or her daughters. Cause he's a dick, and we don't need to propogate his genes. 


ETA: Oh ho! The plane designer designed MODEL planes. OH SNAP.

My loft is gone. My bed is now on the ground. It's sad, and my room looks really open and sort of empty now, but it's also nice to be able to sit on my bed and watch tv or just chill without climbing.

Speaking of which, Abby and I watched The Two Towers from my bed today, after watching The Fellowship of the Ring yesterday. After having her pause them all the time and painstakingly and patiently explain things to my dumb ass, I really feel like I have a much better handle on the movies than I did before. It was nice to have someone who's read the books give me the low down on everything. (Just like I did for her with Star Wars.)

Abby and I also went downtown to go shopping today, and went to Dobra Tea, which is still the best place ever. And they take Knight Card. Woot!

Then I went to my Spanish review session and reached two conclusions:
1. I am awesome at Spanish.
2. The other people... Not so much.

YOU CANNOT ARGUE WITH SPANISH. IT IS THE WAY IT IS AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT. ARGUING ABOUT IT IS NOT GOING TO CHANGE THE FACT THAT YOU ARE WRONG. AND STUPID. AND PROBABLY SMELL.


I am one paper and two finals away from being done with my first year of college. Wheeeeeeee!

I forgot to mention that I went bowling and saw like half of Rutland. (Kathryn and Ryan...OMG) It was so incredibly amazing. Thank you Kelli, and I love all the people who were there. Except Ben. Because his hair looks dumb.

And then I went to Janeea's and watched The Two Towers, which only reaffirmed my belief that SAM WANTS FRODO, and also invested me with the belief that Legolas wants Aragorn, and vice versa. Feel the slash. Embrace the slash.

Love you all!