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Feb. 4th, 2007 04:35 pmAnd it's February 4th again. Time really flies.
Oh, and something happened today that reaffirmed my faith in humanity. I was in Shaw's, and I was trying to get to some chocolate covered pretzels, but they were on the very top shelf, and the front ones had all been taken, and I am short and I couldn't reach them.
Then some random nice guy, a complete stranger, was like "do you need help?" and I told him what I was trying to get, and he grabbed it for me, because he was tall enough. He didn't work at Shaw's, and he didn't have to help me, but he did. Because sometimes people don't suck.
It's the little things like that that matter the most, and make life worth living. As long as people are still capable of acts of kindness, no matter how tiny, I think the human race will survive.
So I say unto you, do little helpful things. For friends, for strangers, for everyone. Even if you think they won't amount to anything. I will probably never see that guy again, but he made my day. You never know what the effect of a small act of charity might be.
Oh, and something happened today that reaffirmed my faith in humanity. I was in Shaw's, and I was trying to get to some chocolate covered pretzels, but they were on the very top shelf, and the front ones had all been taken, and I am short and I couldn't reach them.
Then some random nice guy, a complete stranger, was like "do you need help?" and I told him what I was trying to get, and he grabbed it for me, because he was tall enough. He didn't work at Shaw's, and he didn't have to help me, but he did. Because sometimes people don't suck.
It's the little things like that that matter the most, and make life worth living. As long as people are still capable of acts of kindness, no matter how tiny, I think the human race will survive.
So I say unto you, do little helpful things. For friends, for strangers, for everyone. Even if you think they won't amount to anything. I will probably never see that guy again, but he made my day. You never know what the effect of a small act of charity might be.
I went to Maryanne's funeral. It is the first funeral I have ever been to. I cried. And I hardly even knew her.
But it was a nice service all the same. She was a wonderful person. I wish I had known her better.
There were so many people there. I wonder if Maryanne knows how many people she affected, if only in the smallest way. I wonder how many people all of us affect? Wouldn't it be nice to have a gathering like the one that went on tonight, only not because someone died? Just to see how much difference you have made in the world? We should do that.
And I never realized how theraputic the Lion King can be. I listened to it, on a whim, and honestly from The Circle of Life to Hakuna Matata I felt sooooooo much better. Life goes on, in the great cosmic plan, and we have no control, but it still goes on. And someone or something made it work that way, and it all has a purpose and happens for a reason. I am so good with that.
And soon I think I will return this journal to my normal recording of funny things in my life, but that doesn't mean I've forgotten. It just means I am moving on. I will take this with me, but I will go forward.
Thank you all for being in my life. Everyone means something to me, even if it is only a little something.
But it was a nice service all the same. She was a wonderful person. I wish I had known her better.
There were so many people there. I wonder if Maryanne knows how many people she affected, if only in the smallest way. I wonder how many people all of us affect? Wouldn't it be nice to have a gathering like the one that went on tonight, only not because someone died? Just to see how much difference you have made in the world? We should do that.
And I never realized how theraputic the Lion King can be. I listened to it, on a whim, and honestly from The Circle of Life to Hakuna Matata I felt sooooooo much better. Life goes on, in the great cosmic plan, and we have no control, but it still goes on. And someone or something made it work that way, and it all has a purpose and happens for a reason. I am so good with that.
And soon I think I will return this journal to my normal recording of funny things in my life, but that doesn't mean I've forgotten. It just means I am moving on. I will take this with me, but I will go forward.
Thank you all for being in my life. Everyone means something to me, even if it is only a little something.
To Maryanne Gillen
Feb. 7th, 2005 04:20 pmExplaination: I have this weird habit of finding songs that say what I am thinking, or that relate to what has happened in my life, or whatever is on my mind. So I am going to post some lyric snippets here.
A Tribute to a Girl I Hardly Knew:
Think of me, think of me fondly
When we've said goodbye
Remember me, once in a while
Please promise me you'll try...
If you ever find a moment
Stop, and think of me...
Please promise me that sometimes
You will think of me.
"Think of Me" from Phantom of the Opera
You don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
"Welcome to my Life" by Simple Plan
Well they said she died easy of a broken heart disease
As I listened through the cemetery trees...
I'm so alone, and I feel just like somebody else
Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same
But somewhere here in between the city walls of dyin' dreams
I think her death it must be killin' me
"One Headlight" by the Wallflowers
Fuck I can't let this kill me, let go
I need some more time to fix this problem
I need some more time to fix this problem
I'm talking to the ceiling
My life just lost all meaning
Do one thing for me tonight
I'm dying in this silence
The last star left in Heaven is fallen down to Earth
And I'll miss your laugh your smile
Come on let me hold you touch you feel you
Always
Tidal waves they rip right through me
Tears from eyes worn cold and sad
Pick me up now, I need you so bad
Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
This is the first (thing I remember)
Now it's the last (thing left on my mind)
Afraid of the dark (do you hear me whisper)
An empty heart (replaced with paranoia)
Where do we go (life's temporary)
After we're gone (like new years resolutions)
Why is this hard (do you recognize me)
I know I'm wrong (but I can't help believing)
I'm so lost
I'm barely here
Various songs by Blink 182, because they're music is the music of my soul.
I hope this helps someone, because it certainly helps me. And I never spoke more than two words to Maryanne, but that doesn't make me any less sad. She was a beautiful person, and she had a human life that is no more, and that deserves grief and tears. No one can tell you that just because you didn't know her well you have no right to cry.
However, we must not stop living just because someone else did. Anyone, not just Maryanne. Life goes on, the world still turns. So mourn, but then focus on the good things they accomplished in their lives.
Thank you.
A Tribute to a Girl I Hardly Knew:
Think of me, think of me fondly
When we've said goodbye
Remember me, once in a while
Please promise me you'll try...
If you ever find a moment
Stop, and think of me...
Please promise me that sometimes
You will think of me.
"Think of Me" from Phantom of the Opera
You don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
"Welcome to my Life" by Simple Plan
Well they said she died easy of a broken heart disease
As I listened through the cemetery trees...
I'm so alone, and I feel just like somebody else
Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same
But somewhere here in between the city walls of dyin' dreams
I think her death it must be killin' me
"One Headlight" by the Wallflowers
Fuck I can't let this kill me, let go
I need some more time to fix this problem
I need some more time to fix this problem
I'm talking to the ceiling
My life just lost all meaning
Do one thing for me tonight
I'm dying in this silence
The last star left in Heaven is fallen down to Earth
And I'll miss your laugh your smile
Come on let me hold you touch you feel you
Always
Tidal waves they rip right through me
Tears from eyes worn cold and sad
Pick me up now, I need you so bad
Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
This is the first (thing I remember)
Now it's the last (thing left on my mind)
Afraid of the dark (do you hear me whisper)
An empty heart (replaced with paranoia)
Where do we go (life's temporary)
After we're gone (like new years resolutions)
Why is this hard (do you recognize me)
I know I'm wrong (but I can't help believing)
I'm so lost
I'm barely here
Various songs by Blink 182, because they're music is the music of my soul.
I hope this helps someone, because it certainly helps me. And I never spoke more than two words to Maryanne, but that doesn't make me any less sad. She was a beautiful person, and she had a human life that is no more, and that deserves grief and tears. No one can tell you that just because you didn't know her well you have no right to cry.
However, we must not stop living just because someone else did. Anyone, not just Maryanne. Life goes on, the world still turns. So mourn, but then focus on the good things they accomplished in their lives.
Thank you.
Just a thought
Feb. 6th, 2005 12:29 amI love you all. I want you all to know that. If I knew what else to think or say I would do so, but the only words I have are that I love you. All of you. Any time I ever said or thought or felt differently was wrong. I love you. I hope you all love me and love yourselves.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
