leia131 | Entries tagged with introspection

30 Day Meme day 20:( Whether you're an extrovert or an introvert: )

Answer to last Wednesday's song: Another Dumb Blonde by Hoku. It's been... 13 years (HOLY CRAP I FEEL OLD) since this song came out, and I used to come home from school and listen to the version I taped off the radio on my mom's boombox because I didn't yet have one of my own, but I still love it and know every word. NO SHAME.

You Are Argentina

You are a set of contradictions, and it often seems like you live in two worlds.

You are introspective yet outgoing. You are modern yet traditional.

You are warm and honest. Your life is petty much an open book.

You are a hard worker, and you don't mind putting in long hours. And then you'll go party til dawn!

What Country Are You?

Current Mood: content

As odd as it sounds, I watch The Girls Next Door to feel better about myself.

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: The Soup Presents: Chicks, Man

Your result for The Attachment Style Test...

The Cuddleslut

You're mostly secure, but sometimes you need a little extra reassurance to make it through the tough times. You are usually affectionate and sweet, and you find it easy to fall in love. An encouraging word from a crush or a loved one can motivate you for weeks.

Fictional character with whom you might identify: Kaylee (Firefly/Serenity), Hiro Nakamura (Heroes)

Other Attachment Types:
Secure:	The Unicorn	\|	The Cuddleslut	\|	The Free Agent
Preoccupied:	The Cling Wrap	\|	The Squid	\|	The Insect
Fearful:	The Doormat	\|	The Leper	\|	The Exile
Dismissing:	The Hermit	\|	The Stone	\|	The Player
Confused:	The Waffler

Take The Attachment Style Test at HelloQuizzy

If that's not the truest thing ever, then I don't know what is. Plus, YAY KAYLEE! I heart her.

Current Mood: satisfied

In a complete departure from my post of last night/this morning, I bring you a completely random meme skanked from

schmoo999.

a. List seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself.
b. Tag seven people to do the same.

1. I love super heroes, but I cannot read comic books. There is something about the formatting of comic books that I just can't handle, and all the alternate universes drive me crazy. But I love the backstories, and the cartoons I used to watch, and I own a bunch of random episodes of Batman Beyond and X-Men Evolution that I watch when I'm feeling down. And I love all the cheesy awful movies based off them too. Especially The Fantastic Four (1 and 2).

2. I have trouble throwing things away. I still own almost every single toy and book I've ever had, as well as clothes that I haven't worn since I was five. They certainly don't fit, but I can't bear to get rid of them. I form deep sentimental attachments to things, and then they stay around forever. Sometimes I even think of things I've thrown out, and get really sad.

3. I've never been stung by a bee, and I don't actually know if I'm allergic to them. I only think I might be because I'm allergic to lots of other things. Though I did get stung by a wasp once, picking up a fun noodle, so I don't think I am. I don't know quite how bee allergies work.

4. I've always wanted to be a drummer.

5. I read the ends of books before I read the beginnings, almost always. And I'm not ashamed of it. It's what do, it's how I like to read, and none of the people who've told me I'm awful have changed my behavior.

6. I want to be successful in life for many reasons, one of which is so I can lord it over the people who were nasty to me in middle school. When I'm rich and possibly famous, I want them all to see me, and feel bad about how awful they were to me, and look at their own dull uneducated lives and wish they were me.

7. I know next to nothing about British history, and I really want to.

I tag... Janeea, Erin, Matt, Carmen, Andrew, Abby, and Jess, but anyone's free to take or leave this.

Current Mood: cold

More pointless memes/surveys, because I don't want to do homework right now, and they look like fun.

Also, if no one else guesses the three movie quotes that have not yet been identified, I'll post some hints ala

zartlila.

Anyways, these have been ~~stolen~~ lovingly approprated from

siriusly_sexand

nessquick67.

( Under the Cut, so You Can Avoid Them if You Wanna )

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: The Guilty Ones - Spring Awakening

It worries me slightly that I will do things while completely sober that most other people won't do unless they're at least a little drunk.

Of course one of those things is make out with other girls, so...

Current Mood: cold

Announcement to the world: MEGAN CANNOT DO SIT-UPS.

Cathy asked us to do 40 yesterday for Singing for the Actor (and no, I don't know why), and I did seven. Seven. That's less than 10. And my middle and back hurt SO MUCH that I will never be doing those again. No, I mean it. Not even for Singing for the Actor, if she asks again. I kind of can't move, and it's just not worth it.

Now I've gotta go clean the snow off my car so I can get to Genetics. Oh boy!

Current Mood: sore

1. There are not words enough to describe how much I love snow.

2. I hate hormones. I've wanted to cry at the least provocation for the past three days. I should just watch Pan's Labyrinth again and get it out. (Seriously, I was reading on Wikipedia about Kagura dying in the Inuyasha manga and I got teary. It's ridiculous.)

3. Anyone who really wants to know me should look at my collection of Livejournal icons. They represent all of my interests, as well as my OCD, and their relative numbers are also telling. I have the most Harry Potter and Little Mermaid ones. In those, I have a shit-ton of Ariel and Ron icons. In those, I have the most from the penultimate scene in TLM, and A LOT of quotes by Ron.
My icon collection is the best representation of myself that I have, and I'm petrified of losing it.

Current Mood: awake

There was a time when I used to read more hours a day than I did anything else besides sleep.

There was a time when I used to get flashes of inspiration and write poems and fanfics and even single sentences that were good enough to merit saving.

What the hell happened to that?

Current Mood: Emo

I need my home friends.

Not that the ones here aren't wonderful, because they are, (Jenn, especially you) but I need people that I don't have to explain Encore and all my issues to before we can work through this new shit.

I want Neea. And Hannah. And Sarah. And lots of other people, but if I put all your names in here, I'll never stop crying.

I don't want to be me anymore.

Current Mood: depressed

That's why I don't go outside anymore.

Yes there are bugs and dirt and things that make me itch, spiders and places to get your feet stuck, but those are just excuses.

I don't go outside because my fairyland was cut down.

It doesnt't matter that my castle was over-run by weeds, or that a thorn bush has sprung from My Rock, for that is the way of things.

But my sacred place was chopped down and burned, tiny animals laid to rest disturbed, and thistles appeared where they do not belong, because there were no more trees to keep them out. Because of Man.

When the Guardian of the Trees and Protector of the Rocks relizes that she can't do her job because she doesn't own them and property lines are more important than nature, that is to say when she grows up, then the kingdom that once brought her unparalleled happiness brings only sorrow.

And rather than have to face that, she hides in the house. Whenever outside, she's tempted to go and explore the ruins of her childhood, the death site of her innocence, and every time she does there are tears and a little piece of her soul dies.

It's easier then to avoid all the outside, to stay in with technology and pretend that there's a concrete and not a spiritual reason for it. Easier than feeling the hate and the sadness, the lost joy and promise.

There's only a small, glimmering, shard of hope, all that's left after the Pandora next door opened the box, that someday there will be a new little girl and a new kingdom, somewhere where the property lines extend farther than those of imagination, and the Protector can be again.

Current Mood: crushed

I wrote the following at work today, because I had to work until 5, because Amanda (the regular receptionist) just didn't show up for work this morning. (And unless she's dead or in a coma or something, WTF?)

Anyways, it's very very random, but I went to all the trouble of typing it up so I may as well post it. Besides, it may give some of you a deeper look into my psyche. *snort*

( Enter Into My Mind... )

Note: I'm probably going to be working till 5 for the next week or so, unless Amanda comes back (PLEASE come back!!!) So I won't be available for fun till after 5. But I am using the time to edit a bunch of my stories, so expect some fic posts in the near future!

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: Fan

At lunch I sort of got propositioned by Ashely, and then I sort of got asked on a double date by Abby's brother figure/friend.

Heh.

Then the friend/brother figure, whose name is Corey, IM'ed me.

This brings me to the fact that not only do my friends feel the need to talk/pour out their hearts to me, but I end up taking to their friends/boyfriends that I don't even really know...

Exhibit A: Jim. (Although I knew Jim before Kelli. But we weren't like best buds or anything. Now he knows as much about my love life as I do, and vice versa.)
Exhibit B: Matt. Who I have only met once.
Exhibit C: Corey. Who I have never even seen.
Exhibit D: Vik. Although that may not really count cause he was with Hannah and on her screenname.
Exhibit E: Joey. I was talking to him on AIM before I even knew who he was.

I guess I must be good to talk to.

Current Mood: sick
Current Music: Angel is the Centerfold

My entire family is insane.

And I swear they save the display of it for when I come home from college.

I have no idea why.

But I love them just the same.

So my mom and dad both told me repeatedly tonight that we have mice in the house and that the cats have been catching them all week. I can only conclude that this is their subtle way of telling me not to be alarmed if I walk into the kitchen and find
a. A cat playing with a live mouse
b. A cat gnawing on a dead mouse
c. All of the above (Which is possible as we have two cats.)

Like I said, nuts.

So I learned something about myself today. I don't like being controlled. Nora like forcibly moved my hand off my keyboard and wouldnn't let it go and I freaked out. I had to leave the room and try and tell myself to calm down about it, but I couldn't be settled until I confessed that I was upset by it and she apologized.

I mean, it was such a stupid little thing but I just totally could not handle it. I don't like being physically prevented from doing something.

Like this one time my aunt put her hand over my mouth to make me be quiet I flipped out and screamed at her.

And once at rehersal we did this thing where we were relaxing and people came around and moved us into more proper relaxation poses... I've never been so tense in my life. I'm lying there with my eyes closed, going "don't touch me don't touch me don't touch me" and I just don't like being moved. Guided is ok. You all know I don't mind physical contact in general. But there's just something about being controlled...

And I mean I'm serious about this, but the snarky comments come anyways. I don't like being controlled because I'm a dominatrix at heart. Hahahahahahahaha! Serioulsy, I do like being in control. Directing, bossing people around, I like that.

Is that weird?

Oh, and one of the people correcting our posture was Ron, and really, who wants to be touched by that?

In other news, chateau is German for Mister.

P.S. There are no new movies. Not that I would see it, but I thought The Hills Have Eyes was a sort of intriguing originanl concept. It's not. It's a remake. As is The Shaggy Dog.

COME UP WITH SOME NEW IDEAS PLEASE!

Current Mood: cold
Current Music: Nada

Squirrel!

Squirrel!

Squirrel!

Yes I say it every time I see one on campus. And yes I'm going to continue to say it every time I see one on campus. And yes I see them quite frequently.

SO THERE!

I refuse to stop being weird. I refuse to repress my idosyncrisies.

If people keep commenting/giving me looks I'm going to start saying it with two syllables the way Veruka does in Charlie and the Chcocolate Factory. If you're going to be regarded as weird you might as well give them something to really be freaked out by.

And if that gets old (which it probably never will) I'll comment on the chipmunks too.

The thing is it reminds me of being in Boston with Vanessa and the severe ADD we had and the Freedom Trail(Fight The Power) and the squirrel in the park with Hannah and frightening the pigeons and Gerry (Do you love it?) and that whole trip where I was completely my weird self and comepletely happy.

Whereas here I can't be completely myself because IT VIOLATES THE SCENE (way to incorporate class into everyday life) and I can't be weird and I don't like it. I miss my friends where I felt like they'd love me no matter how crazy I acted. I don't seem to have made any friends of that sort here. I feel like if I act too bizarre they'll alienate me.

*Sigh*

SQUIRREL!

P.S. That reminds me of Spanish class...Squirrely verbs, and ardilla (squirrel) is slang for smart...
Me and Renee: Since when are squirrels smart?

I miss inside jokes too.

Current Mood: Squirrel!
Current Music: Matchbox 20

I discovered some things tonight.

1. I crave people the same way I crave chocolate. I have days where I just, like, INTENSELY need to see/talk to one particular person. For the past few days I have been craving Erin. ERIN I NEED YOU! Heh.

2. I like taking pictures, and then seeing how they come out, because they never look the way you think they're going to. I think I kind of want to take pictures. Artistic pictures. I have these pictures that I just, am so proud of, because they're just cool. (Yeah, I'm weird. And rambling.)

3. Getting good comments on the fic I waited an entire year to post over at the Remus/Sirius community is one of the best feelings in the world. And it's addicting. I can't wait to post again.

4. You can't install Microsoft Word unless you install Works first.

5. My laptop does not have a floppy disk drive, which puts me back to having no way to transfer my files and pics from this computer to that one.

6. I don't like having French toast for dinner. (Actually, I don't really like French toast all that much at any time, but I already knew that.)

Isn't learning fun?

Current Mood:

weird

Current Mood: weird
Current Music: Chirping

I really love all my friends.

I don't know what's just come over me, but I need you all to know that.

God I really do just love you all.

And sometimes you annoy me, and sometimes I annoy you, but I love you all and I miss you all when you're not around.

And I want always to stay in touch. No matter if it's seeing you every day or only a card at Christmas. I'll treasure it always because that's what I do.

Someday, if we aren't connected anymore, you can all look back and think that once, many years ago, you were loved, truly and wholly by a girl named Megan. And that she probably still loves you.

And if we are still connected, you can rest easy knowing that you are loved by at least one person in the world.

I think I'm going to cry.

Remember this post. Please.

I shouldn't be allowed to stay up this late and think.

Current Mood: uncomfortable
Current Music: My mind. Make it stop!

Sorry, I'm having icon ADD again. Expect frequent icon changes in the near future.

I have to have a serious journal entry for a minuet. I've been feeling really off lately, like I want things or want to do things that no one else wants to do, and I don't know why. Also, I desperately want to read and finish the stories I am writing, but whenever I have a free moment I seem to be on the computer or watching tv...

I just feel like I'm in an awful funk and I don't know what to do.

And, I got a 74 on my Calc test, and I know none of you are going to quite understand what that means in terms of my life, but it's bad. Trust me. And I can't possibly do anything more to bring up my grade in Calc. I go to class, I pay attention, I take notes, I do the homework, I study, and I still can't manage to get back up to the A I used to have. WTF?

HUGE SIGH

I just want high school to end and college never to begin. Is that so much to ask?

Because I am also stressing about the overnight at St. Michael's this weekend, which I am dreading. And I know that I'm going to have to spend every night there eventually, but it'll be in my own room, (well, with a roommate but still at least partly my own room) and it'll just be different and I don't wanna go.

I DONT WANNA GO TO COLLEGE!!!!!!!!

I just hate this. All of it. Anything that involves the word school or class or test or quiz.

But I don't hate any of you, and I won't care if you don't even read this, because I know it's long and boring and stupid.

But I feel slightly better now.

Current Mood: stressed
Current Music: Nada

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Megan

April 2017

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I guess its just my stupid luck, that all of Boston drives the same black fucking truck
Lovingly Stolen From Siriusly_sex
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As Seen on Dee_ryma's Journal
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Random Thoughts Flitting Through My Head
This Is My Emo Icon
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It's from That 70's Show. I'm not that dumb. I know it's French for house.
Squirrel! Squirrel! Squirrel!
Ah, the joy of discovery...
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Eww

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Page generated Apr. 3rd, 2026 11:49 am

Lies and falsehoods, Padfoot!

I am attempting to find meaning over here. You are cramping my groove.

Entries tagged with introspection

I guess its just my stupid luck, that all of Boston drives the same black fucking truck

Lovingly Stolen From Siriusly_sex

(no subject)

As Seen on Dee_ryma's Journal

The Cuddleslut

(no subject)

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(no subject)

Random Thoughts Flitting Through My Head

This Is My Emo Icon

(no subject)

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It's from That 70's Show. I'm not that dumb. I know it's French for house.

Squirrel! Squirrel! Squirrel!

Ah, the joy of discovery...

(no subject)

Eww

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April 2017

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