Lies and falsehoods, Padfoot!

Sometimes I watch Jay Leno, and his jokes are just...eh.

And then sometimes I watch him and I laugh like a fool. And a loon. And a loony fool. And a foolsih loon. You get the idea.

Examples:

1. A school teacher slept with two of her 13 year old students. That's when we know our classrooms are really overcrowded. I mean, where's the individual attention? She is currently being held on 1 million dollars bail, which the two boys are trying to raise...

2. Amber Frey said she rated her first date with Scott Peterson a 10. Well, any date with a murderer that you survive is pretty good.

3. This is true. Michael Jackson nicknamed one of his boys blowhole. I have two words. Case Closed!

Now, as for the movie quote, Bart has come into this game and is kicking all your butts. He got the last one, which was A Bug's Life, correct.

Bart gets to never have to see either of my cats. Ever.

Ok...A really easy one for you all..."How many assholes do we have on this ship? (Whole crew raises hands) I knew it! I'm surrounded by assholes! Keep firing, assholes!"

OMG

Jay Leno: Have you seen the pictures of the seven terrorists we're trying to catch now? (shows picture) Look at this guy! He has one eye and a hook! (which he really did) What is he one of the Pirates of the Caribbean? "Yargh Jihad arrgh matey!"

I laughed so hard I almost wet myself.

Leno: Don't you miss the good old days when people robbed gas stations instead of the other way around? (No one laughs)
It's Friday! All jokes must go!

Leno: This man had sex with a chicken...he caught herpes and salmonella.

Shrek 2 Rocks! Go see it!!!!!!!!!!!

Pray for mercy from...Puss...in Boots!

Join the club...we have jackets.