Lies and falsehoods, Padfoot!

We buried my grandmother today. And it was hard. But I'm not really upset about that, I'm only upset because my mom cried. And my brother. Those are two people who just do not cry, and so of course watching them I started crying.

But the Shanahans (Mom's maiden name) are a tough bunch. We went to my uncle Michael's last night and they had like 10 bottles of soda on the table in front of practically every kind of alcohol imaginable. That's what the Irish do, you know.

And I came to the realization that all these crazy people are going to come to my wedding, or most of them at least, and I really want to live to see that. And I want to get a video camera and tape them all and show it to my kids and be like: this is aaaallllll in your blood. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

I can't imagine not hainvg a huge family, and it's a real shame because they'll probably never be all together again. There's nothing strong enough to unite those seven siblings. No wedding is as powerful as the death of their mother. It really is the end of an era.


In other, less depressing news, I saw RENT with Renee, and it was very very good.

Renee, I love you so much you do not even know. You just make me feel so much that is good. Peaceful.

And, ummm... there was something else... eh, I forget. Well, I'm sorry about the quotes in my buddy profile. I've been sort of slacking on that. I've had a lot on my mind.

And on top of my mental breakdown and the ensuing issues, and then the death of my grandmother, I think I'm getting a cold. Fuck that.

May I just begin by saying that I heart Castleton theater productions, (all the ones I've seen) and all the actors and actresses therein? (And crew people too.) Of course I may, this is my journal.

Translation: Cabaret = awesome. (I can now go to my grave having seen Shawn Dayton dance around as a girl in lingere...)

I also saw A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum at the Flynn today. It was superbly done, but the version I saw in Elmira was funnier.

Oh, yes, and Heather, he's cute. You have the Megan Denardo seal of approval.

On the more boring/mundane side of life, I love my mommy because she is awesome. And she bought me new boots. And took me to Sweetwaters. Mmmmmmmm... Yay Mom!

Also, I heart Hannahmylove.

Peace!

My cousin's wedding in Connecticut was a veriable hive of family gossip and good food. I loved every second of it.

They didn't have a mass, just a ceremony, which was awesome because it was short.
Roahan:(All through the wedding) Can we go yet? Is it time to go yet? Can we leave now? (He's four)

I barely know my cousin Matthew. I didn't know his bride at all. But I was on the very point of tears when she joined him on that alter. Love is a powerful thing. She is quite a large woman. Her hair is not naturally blonde, I can tell. He's sort of chubby. Her jewelry and shoes didn't arrive in time for the ceremony. She was wearing Adidas sandals. Their real rings hadn't come in yet, so they exchanged rings bought at Wal Mart the day before. He was nervous as Hell. Not a damn bit of it mattered. Love is a very powerful thing.

Now the funny bits.

Matthew's mother is from the Philippeans, so there were some Philippino traditions worked into the ceremony. One involved loosely tying the happy couple together. I succeeded in not lauging. But just barely. And I wasn't the only one. (Which reminds me, the bride, Mary, laughed through almost the entire ceremony. She wasn't nervous. You should have seen the look of utter triumph on her face when she put that ring on his finger.)

Later, at the casual reception, (which was in a barn) the rope they'd used in the ceremony was sitting on the table.
Mom: Are they going to tie them up again?
Aunt Fey:(Matthew's Mom) No.
Mom: They'll save that for the honeymoon.

And they gave out as favors little bags of M&M's. Matthew and Mary. M&M. Get it? I thought it was clever.

Anyone who's ever been to a wedding: Did you get the distinct impression that the ceremony was like a trial for the bride and groom? And if they survived it they got to relax and have cake? That's what it felt like to me. (The cake was good too.)

And I learned that my cousin Marie (Matthew's siter) has not been seen with her husband Rick for quite some time because he's been seeing another woman for about two years. Oh that pissed me off. Marie is gorgeous and smart and funny and nice and they have a four year old daughter. (Julia) So they're getting divorced. Fucker.

And all my little cousins love me. I don't know why. They follow me around and vye(sp?) for my attention. It's all very flattering actually.

Then there was this little thing in the car on the way home that made me laugh for a really long time because it was late and I was exhaused from dancing with and chasing after and watching small children all day.
Eric: I should have taken German.
Mom: Where would you ever use German?
Eric: (As though it's the most obvious thing in the world) Germany.

Oh, yes, and my cousin Moureen definately caught the bouquet, but didn't want to admit it. She has a boyfriend of at least two years. Either she's afraid of commitment, or he's gay. (If you saw him/met him/knew what my family says about him you'd know why I suspect that.)

Conclusion: The wedding was a bunch of gossipy drunk Irish people, with a dancing and eating Philippino twist. It was a good time.

Ok.

So who wants to hear the computer story? I know you all do. It's funny.

My laptop was supposed to arrive yesterday. It was being shipped from Taiwan, or somewhere near there. The Far East anyways. It was being shipped by FedEx, and it is a Gateway computer. It did not arrive yesterday.

There's this thing online where you can track your packages. So my mother went on last night to see where my computer was, because it was not at our house. The site said my computer was in Tennessee. Why Tennessee? No one knows.

My mom couldn't call the Gateway people last night, so she called them this morning. They informed her that the computer had been mislabled with the wrong address and was being shipped back to Gateway. There it would be dismantled, because that's what Gateway does with computers that go to the wrong places. Why do they do this? No one knows.

So Gateway told Mom that they'd order us a new computer, but it would take another two weeks to get here. By that time, I will already be in college. NOT COOL.

Now, my mom told me all this around Noon today. Then we got in a huge fight (because that's what my family does when we are stressed) about something that I don't even remember what it was now, but it involved my mom not speaking to me, and me being glad about that.

However, I am never one to let things like that lie. So after I calmed down a bit, Mom and I hashed out our issues and made up the way famalies who are really fighting because the world is full of IDIOTS WHO LOSE COMPUTERS AND THEN TAKE THE A-FUCKING-PART do.

I went back upstairs, to resume cleaning my bookshelf. I was up there maybe ten minutes, (that's ten minutes after we finish fighting and discussing how stupid FedEx and Gateway are, and maybe four hours after Mom was told the computer was nowhere to be found) when I heard the dog barking.

In our driveway was a FedEx truck. In the truck was my laptop, which is now sitting quite peacefully in the other room, all in one piece, unharmed, and nowhere near Tenessee.

Why does Gateway think the computer is lost? What will happen to the second computer Gateway ordered, at no charge to us? No one knows.

What's the moral of the story? Hewlett Packard.

P.S. I told Mom we should sue Gateway for emotional distress, and she didn't seem to think that was such a bad idea.

Yesterday I went to Burlington shopping. It was exciting to do, not so exciting to read about it, so I'll spare you.

And it was Mother's Day, so we took mom to the Dog Team Tavern. I must say that they give you an exceptionally large amount of food before the entree even comes...And OMFG the sticky buns are like a sticky little heaven on a plate. Mom liked it.

But I got the soundtrack to West Side Story, so I'll be torturing you all with that now. Mwahahahaha!

And I think the guy in Hot Topic was gay. He was awfully nice though.

Jean! I boughted you a present! Hee hee hee. I think I'll hold it hostage until I get Good Omens back...

Let's see...Oh yes...

NO MORE PHYSICS!

Took the test today, and I am done! Done like a done thing! Yay!

Today I love being done with Physics

Today I hate Vectors

Ok folks, here are the highlights from my vacation. I will try my best to not be boring.

Friday: We drove a lot and spent the night in a crappy hotel. Fun fun.

Saturday: We drove FOREVER and FINALLY got to Myrtle Beach. Our room was on the 11th floor. Awesome view. There we discovered that exactly half the population of Rutland was there. We also learned that the beach is named after the Myrtle trees that used to grow there and were very important to the economy. I don't know how or why, but they were. It is also illegal to wear a thong bathing suit in Myrtle Beach. Go lawmakers!

Sunday: We went to the aquarium. It was a very nice aquarium, that had this big tank where you could pick up horseshoe crabs, and another tank where you could pet manta rays. Oh that was cool. The best thing though was this like slow moving sidewalk thing that went underneath the big tank, so it was like you were in the tank with the fishes and sharks and turtles and stuff. I am such a dork. I love aquariums and zoos way more that a normal sullen teenager should. (See: Eric.)

There was also this really awesome exhibit on the Titanic that made it all out to be like a giant conspiracy...Like J.P Morgan cancelled his ticket the day before it was supposed to leave, and there was a coal fire that they knew about that weakened the steel and made it more likely to break in half, and they were going full speed in the ice water, and the lookouts didn't have binoculars, and they were also too high to see the iceberg, and it was just awesome. And you could feel the water, which was 28 degrees. It made my fingers numb after about 2 seconds. Scary.

And they had an exhibit on tropical reef fish, and my mother practically started a riot because they had a little clown fish and she goes "Look it's Nemo!" Which prompted like a milion little kids to start going "Nemo? Nemo! Look daddy/mommy it's Nemo!"

Then we went to the beach and it was frigging cold so I gave up on that and went to the heated pool on the 7th floor.

Monday: We went to the beach again, where it was quite a bit warmer, and I read a lot and then retreated to the room and watched movies because I was bored and wanted to relax.

We went mini golfing at Dragon's Lair Fantasy Golf. They had a huge dragon that pops up out of the castle. It was awesome.

That night we went to a minor league baseball game. The team is the Pelicans. They played the Warthogs. We sat behind the Warthogs' dugout, so I got to see that they were all REALLY FRIGGING HOT. Decided at that moment to date a baseball player. They all also had shirts that said HOGS on the front. I want one. The hottest guy was named...Travis! I died laughing. (Aside: I hope the Pelicans all have cute girlfriedns to go home to, because they lost. Badly.) But the catcher for the Pelicans was named Jared Saltalmaccia, and he was very hot too. Can you tell why I go to baseball games?

Tuesday: Mom and I went shopping at this outdoor mall type place called Broadwasy at the Beach. Which is on odd name, because it is neither on the street named Broadway, nor at the beach. I got Anna and Erin presents, and got something cool done to my hair... And we ate at Joe's Crab Shack. Oh but that was funny.

That night we went to Medieval Times, which is this huge castle that has a really awesome medieval dinner and a show. I could go on for hours and days about how awesome the food and the show was, but I won't. I have pictures that I'll terrorize you all with later. I'll just say that there was real fighting and real jousting and a really cute waiter named Andrew. And our knight won the tournament. Oh yeah, we rock.

Wednesday: We drove two hours to Charleston, where we took a boat tour to Fort Sumpner and a carriage tour around the city. Some people would find this boring. I did not. It was freaking awesome. We ate at a place called the Bodacious Burger. Hee. Charleston is the city where like everything started. It's where the Civil War began, it has the first Bapstist church, the first game of baseball, and it's where the word begins. No joke. The rivers in Charleston flow into a bay, which flows into the Atlantic Ocean, which makes all the other oceans. It's the beginning of the world. How cool is that? (I have pictures of this too.)

Thursday: We did nothing. Really. We went to the beach and then Mini golfing at Hook's Adventure Golf. It was fun. They had Peter Pan. And a crocodile. Hee hee hee. I am so lame. I like mini golf.

Ok, I'm done. We drove home Friday, and you already know the rest. It was a lot of fun, but I'm glad to be home. I hope that wasn't too boring...

HANNAH!!! I fed ducks!!! And I started laughing really hard, because I was feeding ducks!!!

Heh.

Hmm...I had some things to say...once upon a time...

Well rehersal the other night for A Midsummer Night's Dream went well...It was also quite amusing, because the phrase 'love juice' was used, in the bloody script, several times. And every time we heard it, we laughed. And every time we laughed, Mrs. Archer asked us what was so funny. Right, like she isn't the mother of a horny teenage boy, and has no idea why that might be funny to teenagers of similar age and disposition.

CHRIS CANNOT READ!!!!!! And it's very annoying.

Also, I learned from Ryan that Kathryn is accepted everywhere, like Visa. She's everywhere she wants to be!

So that was Thursday....and then Friday we learned to Merengue dance with Natalie in Spanish class. That was enormously fun. Ari was my man, and now we're going to dance the Merengue at prom! Yippiee!

Then Erin came over and we went to see Guess Who with Kelli, and it wasn't actually that bad. We mostly went to see it because it had the chick from Pirates of the Carribean in it that I like...and her name is Zoe something. She's a really good actress. Best line: You're white? STOP THE CAR!!!

Then today mommy and I went shopping to get clothes for Easter, which I haven't done since I was like ten. You know, when you're little, every Easter you get a dress. A pastel dress, with big gaudy flower print, and a white satin sash, and a big square ugly lace collar, and white tights and white shoes. And sometimes a hat. I miss that, so I got a pastelish skirt with big gaudy flower print. And I like it. I mourn the fact that I don't see those Easter dresses available for little girls anymore. You can still get the hats though.

And guess who was in Fashion Bug? Kenny. I am sorry, but I do not like him. See, it's no fault of his, but I tend to attract weird and creepy guys. This therefore makes me frightened that any weird or creepy guy I even say hello to once will want me/stalk me/ask me out/follow me /rape me/something bad. And so I tend to be rude to them so they will leave me alone, because I've learned that being nice only encourages them. It's sad but it's true. Anyways, the moral is that I had to go try on the skirt I wanted to buy, but first I had to 1. Overcome my aversion to being naked within a ten mile radius of Kenny, and 2. Convince myself that he could not see through walls, even though it would not suprise me if he could.

So that's an update of my crazy life. Next week there is not one second that I will not be doing something, so I may not have time to post. I hope you all won't miss me too much. Ta!

Today I love Easter

Today I hate the loss of innocence.

First off: The name of the play in which Becky and I will be starring, in which I get to be in love with Paul, is A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM. The next person who says A Midsummer's Night's Dream, or A Midsummer Night Dream, is going to die a slow and painful death that may involve sharpened colored pencils. You have been warned. Spread the word.

Second: My mother actually said this last night when I got mad at her because I was talking to Dad and she just talked right over me like I wasn't even there, which she does on a regualr basis: "I'm sorry, but I have issues!" (I think she meant the fact that she has to say something when she thinks of it or else she forgets because she is old and senile, but it was the funniest thing she has ever said. I love my mother.)

So yeah, the yard/garage sale. Well it was an adventure. And to be honest, not an adventure I'd like to repeat, thank you very much. Ever.

After about three hours of sitting under a leaky umbrella, Hannah and I decided to escape the deluge with our profit. We made, get ready for it now, a grand total, on my pair of old clogs, of fifty cents! And then we split it, so for all my hard work I now have two dimes and a nickel, cause the lady didn't even have any quarters. But it was certainly an experience.

So Hannah and I returned to my house, and she made us grilled cheese, and gave me a concussion. We watched Beauty and the Beast, and made lots of very dirty comments, which made it even more enjoyable than it usually is, and we also had fun with fan fiction, as always.

Hannah did Interesting Things with My Harry Potter Sticker Book.

This evening I was chewing ice for two reasons.
1. I severely scalded (see: burnt) my tongue on the tea I made for Hannah and myself today
2. The other reason that people chew ice. And if you don;t know what that is then you need to get out more (see: join Encore).

In fact I think I may just go get some more ice.

And I need the ice because men are smarmy git-bastards who don't seem to realize what a wonderful girlfriend I could be, and all the things I could give them; and I mean that both in an emotional way, and in the dirtiest way possible.

But I am stuck with men because my Mother informed me tonight that she will not attend my wedding if I marry another woman. She said I can marry whoever I want, as long as it's a man and he's the right color. That is a direct quote.

I also need ice because my fucking tongue hurts.